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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Now a days, one of the strategy on business is giving promo and doing advertising the product. Many people are attracted to buy some product that they are not needed. Some people are encouraging to buy products because they think it will help to improve their lives. For me I agree that some advertising product help to our daily living. Some of the advertisement product is for the house, which we can you use everyday. Giving promo or discounts to their products will encourage you to buy and it will help you alot. Based on my experience some of the advertisements is when they have a new product that they need to announce it, they will do the strategy of advertising’s it. And then they will show how it will help you to your daily living. One example is the vacuum, instead you will use the bamboo grass to wipe a floor, you’ll going to use the vacuum in just a minute you clean the floor easily. The another example is the computer, it help alot to our daily living specially to our dear students. Technology now is very affordable and very useful to our lives. Bu the help to computer’s we can send message in a minute to our family member who are in other countries or far from you. Unlike before, some of us will used to write a letter on a paper and then we will send it to post office and after a month they can receive the letter. Today’s our life is easier, with the help of advertising of some products we know that it will help and improve our lives. On the other hand, some of the advertisements is not helpful. Sometimes its not good to used, because most of people are becaming lazy to do some stuffs. And some people, they did not afford to buy the product. To conclude, advertising product is good for some people which they afford to buy, but to other which they are not afford they will just used the product which they usually used.
Did you mean “nowadays”?
Now a days
, one of the strategy on business is giving promo and doing advertising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that they are not needed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encouraging to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

For
Consider adding a comma here.
me
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to our daily living.

If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
Some of the
advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, which we
It appears that a comma is missing.
can
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
‘Everyday’ is an adjective. Did you mean “every day”?
everyday
. Giving promo or discounts to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will encourage you to
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
buy and
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
. Based on my experience
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
advertisements is when they have a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that they need to announce it, they will do the strategy of advertising’s it. And then they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you to your daily living. One example is the vacuum,
instead
you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the bamboo grass to wipe a floor, you’ll
The modal verb ‘ll’ requires the verb’s base form.
going
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the vacuum in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a minute you clean the floor
easily
. The another example is the computer, it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “helps”.
help
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
to our daily living
specially
to our dear students. Technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
affordable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Make sure that ‘Bu’ is an abbreviation (bureau, bushel). Did you mean “by”, “but”, “bug”, or “bus”?
Bu
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to computer’s we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
message in a minute to our family member who are in other countries or far from you. Unlike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of us will
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
used
to write a letter on a
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
paper and
then we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
it to post office and after a month they can receive the letter.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s our life is easier, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of advertising of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
we know that it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
,
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
advertisements is not helpful.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
Did you mean “it’s” (short for ‘it is’) instead of ‘its’ (possessive pronoun)?
its
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
becaming
lazy to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stuffs. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they did not afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the product.

To conclude
, advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which they afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to other which they are not afford they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
used
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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