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High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick? Support your point of view with relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

In this competitive world, a good job always requires a full commitment from the employee. In a way to show their loyalty towards their work and earn promotion, employees devote most of the time for work, which helps them in completing their tasks but they usually fail to maintain work life balance which then affects their health. In order to survive in the organisation they continue going to work while suffering from health issues and serious infection, which in my opinion is a wrongdoing as they put themselves and other employees in danger. People must consider their health and other's well-being on priority before taking such a risky step going for work during illness. In recent years, the companies have raised the bar in their working standards. Nowadays, you won't be appreciated for achieving 100 % of your target but you will be pushed to stretch it to 200% achievement. In these types of organizational culture, you have to be proactive to complete those workloads. With this you will be able to achieve your target but this kind of approach is very stressful on mind and body. You should be careful towards your health and others well being too as a sick person can easily make others sick. So it is not the right thing to go to work when you are not fit and healthy. Every business requires the attention and concentration of every member of the company, but it can be delayed when employee's health is at stake. We must consider our mental and physical wellbeing before working. A fresh mind and relaxed body will help you to focus more on completing your task efficiently in a given time than a stressful mind and exhausted body. For example: Speaking of organizational culture, currently some companies have followed 'Work from Home' work culture so that their employees should maintain work life balance. Recently, A survey by UK Times has shown that people working from home are mentally and physically healthier than regular office workers. To conclude, Every work is important and the key to become successful goes through mind and body. Health is more essential than work, you will only be productive when you are Healthy.
In this competitive world, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job always requires a full commitment from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
. In a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their loyalty towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and earn promotion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
devote most of the time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in completing their tasks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
usually
fail to maintain
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance which then affects their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
order to survive in the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisation’ is British English.
organisation
they continue going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues and serious infection, which in my opinion is a wrongdoing as they put themselves and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and other's well-being on priority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking such a risky step going for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during illness.

In recent years, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have raised the bar in their working standards. Nowadays, you won't
be appreciated
for achieving 100 % of your target
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you will
be pushed
to stretch it to 200% achievement. In these types of organizational culture, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be proactive to complete those workloads. With this you will be able to achieve your target
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this kind of approach is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
stressful on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
. You should be careful towards your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well being
too as a sick person can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
others sick.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is not the right thing to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when you are not fit and healthy.

Every business requires the attention and concentration of every member of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
be delayed
when employee's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is at stake. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider our mental and physical wellbeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
working. A fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and relaxed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to focus more on completing your task
efficiently
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time than a stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and exhausted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
For example
: Speaking of organizational culture,
currently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have followed 'Work from Home'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should maintain
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance. Recently, A survey by UK Times has shown that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working from home are mentally and
physically
healthier than regular office workers.

To conclude
, Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and the key to become successful goes through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is more essential than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be productive when you are Healthy.
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IELTS essay High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick? Support your point of view with relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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