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Some people believe that the best way to increase people health is provide more sport facilities but on the other hand, other people suppose that this way does not have enough impact on public health and we need more things for this goal.

Some people believe that the best way to increase people health is provide more sport facilities but on the other hand, other people suppose that this way does not have enough impact on public health and we need more things for this goal. Public health depends on many factors but we can divide it in two parts, physical health and mental health. Actually, physical health related to diet and sport activities, furthermore environment effects on human health. The fact of physical activities has great benefits for people health is not hidden for anybody. Sport facilities can encourage people to do more sport, so if it increased, accessibility to them will be so easier. On the other hand, physical activities cannot guarantee the people health, so increasing the number of sport facilities is not enough and people should pay attention to other factors such as their diet and mental health. For instance, about 2 years ago I was registered in a gym to fit my body but I did not care about my diet so out of the blue I noticed that the percentage of my fat increased dramatically and reached to risky area, so after that I have been obtaining the rules of healthy diet. Overall, public health includes many factors and by pay attention only on sport facilities can not support all the aspect of people health, however, the addition more sport facilities, can help to increase people tend for doing more physical activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the best way to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
Consider using either the past participle “provided” or the present participle “providing” here.
provide
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suppose that this way does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
impact on public
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
we need more things for this goal.

Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
depends on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can divide it in two parts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Actually,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related to diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
furthermore
environment effects on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The fact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
has great benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is not hidden for anybody.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
facilities can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if it increased, accessibility to them will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easier.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
cannot guarantee the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors such as their diet and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, about 2 years ago I
was registered
in a gym to fit my body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I did not care about my diet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
out of the blue I noticed that the percentage of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
increased
dramatically
and reached to risky area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
after that I have been obtaining the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of healthy diet.

Overall
, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors and by pay attention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities can not support all the aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
however
, the addition more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend for doing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the best way to increase people health is provide more sport facilities but on the other hand, other people suppose that this way does not have enough impact on public health and we need more things for this goal.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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