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Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that a numerous people believe that family members spend time together and talk each other reduce every year. In my opinion, I completely agree with that idea. I think that there are two main reasons which are social media and working too much. Firstly, social media are huge digital world and also finding friends are so easy. A lot of people who have a great number of friends can talk many different subjects. Too much time in people life are taken by social media. However, they can not find may topics to talk in family, and furthermore, they do not get time to talk each other. For example, seven persons live in my family and also each person has smart phone. After my parents come to work, we usually dinner at home together. While my mother and my sister prepare dinner, we always check media account by smart phone and even eating dinner we do not talk. Social media are extremely dangerous for family, furthermore, must protect our family from them. Secondly, many country in the world have economical problem, because of that a numerous people spend long hours in their jobs. In other words, when they come to their home, they are so tired, and also can not get enough time to spend their family. For instance, the latest research show that If people work too much time, they do not have strong relation with their family. Because of that, they must create time for their family. In conclusion, family is really important for all countries. People should not love their job more than their family, moreover, they must get enough time for them.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that a numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
each other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
every year. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are two main reasons which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and working too much.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are huge digital world and
also
finding friends are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a great number of friends can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects. Too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
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people
life
are taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
However
, they can not find
Did you mean “many”, the month “May” (capitalized), or “my”?
may
topics to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
in
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family
, and
furthermore
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
each other.
For example
, seven persons
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live
in my
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family
and
also
each person has
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phone
. After my parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to work, we
usually
dinner at home together. While my mother and my sister prepare dinner, we always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
account by
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phone
and even eating dinner we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
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family
,
furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
protect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
from them.

Secondly
,
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many
country in the world have economical problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that a numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend long hours in their jobs.
In other words
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to their home, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tired, and
also
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For instance
, the latest research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they do not have strong relation with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their family.

In conclusion
,
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family
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for all countries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their job more than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for them.
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IELTS essay Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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