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Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. 33kb
influenced by machines, technologies and so on. For example, my sister has two children and both of them have a tablet. They prefer to play with their tablet rather to talk with parents or even watch TV. New technologies like smart phone, tablet and so on, causes people prefer to spend their time to play with them or surf on the internet. Secondly, unfortunately, most of the families experience economic pressure. Therefore, we see some parents who have to work in two or more workplace or work at weekends. All these causes, parents become more tried and have not any time to talk with children or even they have not time for themselves. Finally, every countries have some good cultures, but these days we see our new generation believe we should forget these kind of culture because they are old. We see they become more impolite and do not obey families rules. Therefore, other members of a family prefer to keep their boundaries and reduce their relationships. To sum up, we can deny it is our fault as parents that our family member do not like to communicate with each other. However, we can change this situation and start a new life. We can settle down some family gathering like a barbeque on weekends, or go to picnic or camping. All outdoors activities cause people have some desire to speak and build a relationship base on their commons.
influenced
by machines, technologies and
so
on.
For example
, my sister has two children and both of them have a tablet. They prefer to play with their tablet
rather
to talk with
parents
or even
watch
TV. New technologies like smart phone, tablet and
so
on, causes
people
prefer to spend their time to play with them or surf on the internet.

Secondly
, unfortunately, most of the
families
experience economic pressure.
Therefore
, we
see
some
parents
who
have to
work in two or more workplace or work at weekends. All these causes,
parents
become more tried and have not any time to talk with children or even they have not time for themselves.

Finally
, every
countries
have
some
good
cultures,
but
these days we
see
our new generation believe we should forget
these kind
of culture
because
they are
old
. We
see
they become more impolite and do not obey
families
rules
.
Therefore
, other members of a
family
prefer to
keep
their boundaries and
reduce
their relationships.

To sum up, we can deny it is our fault as
parents
that our
family
member do not like to communicate with each other.
However
, we can
change
this situation and
start
a new life. We can settle down
some
family
gathering like a
barbeque
on weekends, or go to picnic or camping. All outdoors activities cause
people
have
some
desire to speak and build a relationship base on their commons.
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IELTS essay Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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