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some people say music is good way of bring people of different culture and age together. give your opinion.

some people say music is good way of bring people of different culture and age together. give your opinion. m3pYL
Music is a universal language that isn't difficult to comprehend. Most people think it is one of the best ways of bringing people together without considering their cultural diversity and different age groups. In this essay, I will be discussing my opinion that why music is a better way of keeping people intact, but age might be a factor. In this current era, people vibe to any music that touches their heart, even if they don't understand the language used. Music has a greater power of mesmerizing people and moving along with it though it is not a part of their culture. A few instances that I have come across these experiences is when I listen to Travis Scott music which belongs to the hip hop genre. Although it is a new exposure to my culture of music that we are familiar with within our country. In most of the cases as I have seen, whenever we listen to different genres like hip-hop, western music, elderly persons won't find it pleasant. They feel it is not their cup of tea because of differences in their age. The generation gap always plays a vital role in adapting to the evolution of music. From these experiences, we can understand that music can people united with different cultures but age sometimes becomes a barrier when it comes to the type of music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a universal language that isn't difficult to comprehend. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is one of the best ways of bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together without considering their cultural diversity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups. In this essay, I will be discussing my opinion that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a better way of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
intact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
might be a factor.

In this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vibe to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that touches their heart, even if they don't understand the language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has a greater power of mesmerizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and moving along with it
Did you mean "thought"?
though
it is not a part of their culture. A few instances that I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across these experiences is when I listen to Travis Scott
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which belongs to the hip hop genre.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it is a new exposure to my culture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that we are familiar with within our country.

In most of the cases as I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, whenever we listen to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genres like hip-hop, western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, elderly persons won't find it pleasant. They feel it is not their cup of tea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of differences in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. The generation gap always plays a vital role in adapting to the evolution of music.

From these experiences, we can understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
united with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
becomes a barrier when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
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IELTS essay some people say music is good way of bring people of different culture and age together. give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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