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some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion. Q0Y3
i quite agree with this statement. music can bring people of different culture and ages together. some people say that music is a language to communiacate with someone. we don't need to mastering others country's language to understanding the song from that country. we can enjoy the music from the foreign languange and from different eras. music such an art that can be enjoyed by everyone. parents and children must have been born in different times so they have different mindsets and passions but not a few of them have something in common in musical tastes. the child likes the kind of songs that are popular in the mother's era or the mother who likes the kind of songs that are popular in her child's era, they can listen together to music with happiness. they can discuss with each other about music that they both like so that there is a mutuality between mother and child. it can also strengthen the compactness of mother and child. not only with family, music can also unite people with different cultures. foreigners can get to know more about indonesia from types of indonesian's songs. at first they did not know about Indonesian culture, but after learning it through songs, they could make friends with Indonesians. people from different cultures can unite and share opinions about each other about songs. so that it will make a profit for each culture. their culture can be knowing by other country. and it is proof that music can unite culture or age
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
music
can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and ages together.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a language to
Possible spelling mistake found.
communiacate
with someone.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
don't need to mastering others country's language to understanding the song from that country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
can enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from the foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
languange
and from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
eras.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
music
such an art that can
be enjoyed
by everyone.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
parents
and children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
been born
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
mindsets and passions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not a few of them have something in common in musical tastes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
child likes the kind of songs that are popular in the mother's era or the mother who likes the kind of songs that are popular in her child's era, they can listen together to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with happiness.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can discuss with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that they both like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is a mutuality between mother and child.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
can
also
strengthen the compactness of mother and child.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with family,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
also
unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
foreigners
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know more about
Possible spelling mistake found.
indonesia
from types of
Possible spelling mistake found.
indonesian
's songs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
at
The comma is probably missing here: "first, they".
first they
did not know about Indonesian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after learning it through songs, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with Indonesians.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
can unite and share opinions about each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
about songs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
can
The verb 'knowing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
be knowing
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
it is proof that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
age
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IELTS essay some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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