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Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective. n2yo
Crime is one of the most important problems in our world, but the growth of crime among teenagers is causing more and more attention to this problem. Such a jump in juvenile delinquency worries the public and requires immediate solutions. The possible causes and solutions of crime are directly related to the relationships of family members. Family problems are one of the main reasons why teenagers go to crime. The family is one of the most important factors that affect the child and his psychological state. Basically, many teenagers leave home because of disputes and misunderstandings with their parents and show their anger at others. In a fit of anger, they may unknowingly commit crimes that can harm human health and society. However, there are also young citizens who commit crimes for their own personal purposes. Basically, because of the fun, they are ready for such actions, not understanding the seriousness of crime. By committing some minor crimes, such as stealing and fighting, they consider themselves cool and enjoy the rush of adrenaline. A feasible solution to this issue can be psychological work with the child and with parents. Mental health affects every element of life, on which human mood and actions depend, which is why it is important for every person. Psychological imbalance leads to quarrels between people and exhausts them. Therefore, working with a psychologist will help the family to establish contact and help to understand each other much better, this will significantly reduce the crime rate. Moreover, the government should take this problem seriously and should organize propaganda work. Constant campaigning will help the younger generation understand the impact of crime on society and the vastness of the problem. Taking everything into account, the reasons and decisions for committing a crime by teenagers are closely related to the family. The environment in which a person grows up affects his personal development, so proper education plays a big role.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in our world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
is causing more and more attention to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Such a jump in juvenile delinquency worries the public and requires immediate solutions. The possible causes and solutions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are
directly
related to the relationships of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

Family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are one of the main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors that affect the child and his psychological state.
Basically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of disputes and misunderstandings with their parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their anger at others. In a fit of anger, they may
unknowingly
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
that can harm human health and society.
However
, there are
also
young citizens who commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal purposes.
Basically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the fun, they are ready for such actions, not understanding the seriousness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. By committing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, such as stealing and fighting, they consider themselves cool and enjoy the rush of adrenaline.

A feasible solution to this issue can be psychological work with the child and with parents. Mental health affects every element of life, on which human mood and actions depend, which is why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every person. Psychological imbalance leads to quarrels between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and exhausts them.
Therefore
, working with a psychologist will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to establish contact and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to understand each other much better, this will
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
seriously
and should organize propaganda work. Constant campaigning will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the younger generation understand the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
on society and the vastness of the problem.

Taking everything into account, the reasons and decisions for committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are
closely
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. The environment in which a person grows up affects his personal development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
proper education plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role.

IELTS essay Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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