Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? Bxba
Music plays a crucial role in the way for enhancing togetherness among people who have cultures and age gaps. In my view, I do agree that music brings people from various cultures and ages together. Music may have differences in the various region because various cultures are distributed in the world. It played depends on the language used in the region in this world. They might not understand the real meaning in the lyrics of music because of the language given. However, they possibly still understand the emotions given from the music such as happiness and sadness. Music gives emotion through the melody from the songs, therefore they perhaps interprate the meaning only from hearing the music. As a result, people still enjoy together from the music played. Music is an art enjoyed by all people without thinking about the age gap. It means that music can listen among all people. When the national anthem is played, for example, adults, elders, and children enjoy listen to it and feel the emotions given. Another example is that family may listen to music when they have an event together within among people of different ages. This situation improves the bonds of family. Thus, listening to music makes people feeling a sense of togetherness and can be used as a universal language for people. In summary, music is universally accepted by people. Listening to music together would strengthen the bond among all people in the world, regardless of our background, culture, and age.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
plays a crucial role in the way for enhancing togetherness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gaps. In my view, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
together.

Music may have differences in the various region
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are distributed
in the world. It played depends on the language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the region in this world. They might not understand the real meaning in the lyrics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
However
, they
possibly
still
understand the emotions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
such as happiness and sadness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
gives emotion through the melody from the songs,
therefore
they perhaps
Possible spelling mistake found.
interprate
the meaning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from hearing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
enjoy together from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
played.

Music is an art enjoyed by all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without thinking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
gap. It means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can listen among all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When the national anthem
is played
,
for example
, adults, elders, and children enjoy listen to it and feel the emotions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. Another example is that family may listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
when they have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
together within among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. This situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the bonds of family.
Thus
, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feeling a sense of togetherness and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a universal language for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
universally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
together would strengthen the bond among all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world, regardless of our background,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts