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Some people say masses who have alot of money are the most successful. Other say who make contributions to society are more successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say masses who have alot of money are the most successful. Other say who make contributions to society are more successful. DYVym
While a small number of masses argue that masses who earn an abundant of money are the most successful, on the other hand some assert that who contributing to civilized community, namely scientists as well as teachers, gain more success. This essay will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs. Various key factors of having high amount money. One of the contributing factor is achieving goal. As masses have more amount money, they can achieve their goal easily and gain success. When they want any object or device for their tasks, they conveniently purchase it from market. For example, if any rich person is desired to set-up a buisness, he can contruct a building and search qualified employees for his company. As for professional workers, he an confer hefty amount of money to them for runing his business as well as acheive. success in the buisness. Therefore, abundant of money can be paramount for gaining succeed in the life. Although individuals who have high amount of money get success in their life, scientists as well as teachers who make significant contributions to public can be more successful. The inventors and instructors are inventing devices as well as confor education to the Students respectively. With the assistance of different discoveries, they can confer various devices to society, which further help them to gain success in their lives. For instance, a scientist, Thomas Elva Adison inventor of bulb, spread the lightning to the houses of society. When people started to purchase these bulbs, he got success in his inventions. Thus, contributing to public is a way to successfull in life. In conclusion, although having money is imperative to gain success as well as acheiving goal in the life, yet contributing to society is also paramount for getting sucess. I opine that contribution and high amount of money, both are crucial for gaining success in future.
While a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of masses argue that masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
earn
The phrase 'an abundant of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'an' and 'of'.
an abundant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are the most successful,
on the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
contributing to civilized community,
namely
scientists as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as teachers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. This essay will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs. Various key factors of having high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. One of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
contributing
factor is achieving goal. As masses have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they can achieve their goal
easily
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. When they want any object or device for their tasks, they
conveniently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it from market.
For example
, if any rich person
is desired
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
to set-up
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
buisness
, he can
Possible spelling mistake found.
contruct
a building and search qualified employees for his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. As for professional workers, he
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
confer hefty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to them for
Possible spelling mistake found.
runing
his business as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
success
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
buisness
.
Therefore
, abundant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be paramount for gaining succeed in the life.

Although individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their life, scientists as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
significant contributions to public can be more successful. The

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
inventors
and instructors are inventing devices as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
confor
education to the Students
respectively
. With the assistance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
discoveries, they can confer various devices to society, which
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
, a scientist, Thomas Elva
Possible spelling mistake found.
Adison
inventor of bulb, spread the lightning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
of society. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
these bulbs, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in his inventions.
Thus
, contributing to public is a way to
Possible spelling mistake found.
successfull
in life.

In conclusion
, although having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is imperative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheiving
goal in the life,
yet
contributing to society is
also
paramount for getting
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucess
. I opine that contribution and high
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
amount


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, both are crucial for gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
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IELTS essay Some people say masses who have alot of money are the most successful. Other say who make contributions to society are more successful.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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