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Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place.What is your opinion about this?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? 3aYVm
Many person believes that, your office and house to be kept neat, clean and well discipline manner is the main focus of our first task in a day. I do agree with the written statement as it play a vital role in our life in order to achieve something better. Firstly, as per the some research it proved that tidy environment will boost your speed towards your work at office and home, in a result we can complete our task efficiently and without delaying. For example, messy workplace usually takes time to search work related documents or any important item from our personal room or house. We have experienced kind of problems in our life. Therefore, well organised place always save our time which can enhance our time management skill and it also helps us to build up our CV. Secondaly, we have measured number of times that, unorganised workplace affect us menatly as well as physically as its draw your major attention to search many crucial uncompleted paper works which should be accomplished on timly. For instance, one of my personal experience which based on my previous company where, I found that one of a colleaguae mostly run his business hours without cleaning his desk and majorly involve in searching for important official papers. In addition, at the end of the day i found him tired and disturbed. Finally, to conclude that it is a worth to have in well organised manner which bring a new joy, energy to work and inspiration to others to work properly and organising. Moreover it is the good sign of discipline for office employee and house member.
Possible agreement error. The noun person seems to be countable; consider using: "Many people", "Many persons".
Many person
believes that, your office and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
neat, clean and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
discipline manner is the main focus of our
first
task in a day. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the written statement as it play a vital role in our life in order to achieve something better.

Firstly
, as per the
Did you mean "same"?
some
research it proved that tidy environment will boost your speed towards your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at office and home, in a result we can complete our task
efficiently
and without delaying.
For example
, messy workplace
usually
takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to search
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
related documents or any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
item from our personal room or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. We have experienced kind of problems in our life.
Therefore
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well organised
place always save our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which can enhance our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to build up our CV.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Secondaly
, we have measured number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unorganised
workplace affect us
Possible spelling mistake found.
menatly
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
physically
as its draw your major attention to search
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crucial uncompleted paper works which should
be accomplished
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
timly
.
For instance
, one of my personal experience which based on my previous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where, I found that one of a
Possible spelling mistake found.
colleaguae
mostly
run his business hours without cleaning his desk and
majorly
involve in searching for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
official papers.
In addition
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
found him tired and disturbed.

Finally
,
to conclude
that it is a worth to have in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well organised
manner which bring a new joy, energy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and inspiration to others to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
properly
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of discipline for office employee and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
member.
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IELTS essay Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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