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some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local people when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country.

some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local people when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. E3NEL
Tourism is a flourishing industry its attractions are a part of the country's economy. Some people argue that foreign visitors should pay more than locals to see the same cultural and famous attractions in a country. I, however, do not agree with this opinion. Many foreign tourists have a real interest and admiration for other cultures and it is unfair to ask them to pay more for access to historical places. They travel thousands of miles and spend a lot of money to visit foreign countries. If these foreigners were to pay more than the locals, it would only discourage them from making a visit. Moreover, a foreign tourist spends lots of money on traveling, accommodation, food and so on. It will be discourage for them if we impose more charge then local visitors because they already pay lot more to visit that place. For example, last year I traveled in India and I paid 450 rupe extra to enter in a museum. Where, I also spent lots of money to travel that place so it was unexpected for me and I was feeling very sad that I needed extra money to enter that museum. Firstly, when the foreign visitors pay more for a cultural and historical attraction, it will bring more income and economic benefits for the owners of that attraction (that city, country etc. ). Further, the more money is gathered through the attraction, the more service the provider can give to the tourists. They can use the money to improve the facilities offered to the tourists like translations in several languages, brochures, headphones. Moreover, they can educate local people about the attraction and hire them as tourist guides to assist visitors to offer a better understanding of that attraction. Tourist sites are visited more often by locals than expats which helps to earn money needed to maintain the place and to make the local economy vibrant. If locals are charged as much as visitors then probably, few locals will come to see the place and they will do so less frequently. Therefore, it is important not to charge higher fees from natives. To sum up, I believe that every effort should be made to attract tourists from overseas, and it would be counterproductive to make them pay more than local residents.
Tourism is a flourishing industry its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
are a part of the country's economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the same cultural and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attractions
in a country. I,
however
, do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
have a real interest and admiration for other cultures and it is unfair to ask them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more for access to historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. They travel thousands of miles and spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
countries. If these foreigners were to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discourage them from making a visit.
Moreover
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on traveling, accommodation, food and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It will be
Consider using the past participle "discouraged"?
discourage
for them if we impose more charge
Did you mean "than"?
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
more to visit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
For example
, last year I traveled in India and I paid 450
Possible spelling mistake found.
rupe
extra to
There isn't usually a preposition after "enter". Did you mean "enter a museum"?
enter in a museum
. Where, I
also
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to travel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
was unexpected
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
I was feeling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sad that I needed extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to enter that museum.

Firstly
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more for a cultural and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
, it will bring more income and economic benefits for the owners of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
(that city, country etc.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
.
Further
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is gathered
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
, the more service the provider can give to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the facilities offered to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
like translations in several languages, brochures, headphones.
Moreover
, they can educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
and hire them as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
guides to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to offer a better understanding of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attraction
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourist
sites
are visited
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
than expats which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
needed to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy vibrant. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
are charged
as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
then
probably
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
place and
they will do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
less
frequently
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
not to charge higher fees from natives.

To sum up, I believe that every effort should
be made
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from overseas, and it would be counterproductive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents.
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IELTS essay some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local people when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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