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Some people say domestic animals, like cats, should not be reared in cities. Others say that such companion animals are beneficial to the community of a city. Which attitude do you believe to be correct? v.1

Some people say domestic animals, like cats, should not be reared in cities. Others say that such companion animals are beneficial to the community of a city. Which attitude do you believe to be correct? v. 1
Domestic animals have been people's companions for thousands of years. Nowadays many people have dog, cats, fish and even more exotic pets at their homes in the city. There are a lot of advantages of having a pet; however, there are also some disadvantages. My opinion is that having a domestic animal is something which can highly benefit you and your family's overall health and happiness even if you are living in the city. That’s why the city people should also be able to have pets in their homes. There are many people who consider pets as threats to people's health. Of course, they can be right but that depends on how they are treating the animals and how much care they are putting to foster them. If you do not treat your pet correctly or do not look after it with enough care, it can become a threat to you and the people around you. It is common for dogs to become aggressive if they're being abused or taught to be violent in some way. Also, if you don't take your pet to the vet regularly or you don't clean them well enough they can spread diseases some of which could be really dangerous to people. Despite these disadvantages having a domestic animal could make your life considerably better. It has been scientifically proven that having a pet makes you happier, more positive and optimistic. For example, buying your children a pet can make them realise what it's like to look after someone and therefore learn how to be more responsible. Pets are also highly suggested for elderly people of the city area because they could help them not feeling lonely and depressed and benefit their overall mental health. In general, I think that having a pet is an amazing experience and there should not be any restriction whether city people can have them or not. They can cure people’s loneliness; make them happier and more responsible. No matter if you're a young person or an older living in an urban area or in a metropolitan city, having a pet is something I would always recommend.
Domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's companions for thousands of years. Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have dog, cats, fish and even more exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
at their homes in the city. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a pet;
however
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. My opinion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
is something which can
highly
benefit you and your family's
overall
health and happiness even if you are living in the city. That’s why the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
also
be able to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
in their homes.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
as threats to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.
Of course
, they can be right
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that depends on how they are treating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and how much care they are putting to foster them. If you do not treat your pet
correctly
or do not look after it with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
care, it can become a threat to you and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around you. It is common for dogs to become aggressive if they're
being abused
or taught to be violent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way.
Also
, if you don't take your pet to the vet
regularly
or you don't clean them well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
they can spread diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which could be
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Despite these disadvantages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your life
considerably
better. It has been
scientifically
proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a pet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
you happier, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and optimistic.
For example
, buying your children a pet can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
what it's like to look after someone and
therefore
learn how to be more responsible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pets
are
also
highly
suggested for elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the city area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them not
The verb 'because' is used with an infinitive: "to feel".
feeling
lonely and depressed and benefit their
overall
mental health.

In general
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a pet is an amazing experience and there should not be any restriction whether city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have them or not. They can cure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
loneliness;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them happier and more responsible. No matter if you're a young person or an older living in an urban area or in a metropolitan city,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a pet is something I would always recommend.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say domestic animals, like cats, should not be reared in cities. Others say that such companion animals are beneficial to the community of a city. Which attitude do you believe to be correct? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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