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Some people say 65 and above should stop working while others say otherwise discuss both views and your opinion

Some people say 65 and above should stop working while others say otherwise discuss both views and your opinion joJ3X
People have different views with regards to the retirement of old employees. In my opinion, older adults should quit working to improve employment and promotion for the youths. On the one hand, older population should be made to retire for several reasons. Firstly, to further increase employment among young graduates in our society as most position s are occupied by older workers, hence decreasing job space. For example, a research conducted in four multinational companies shows that people above 65 constitutes more than half of their manpower leaving the younger generation jobless. In addition, I believe there would be more room for promotion. It is apparent that the dream of a young employee is to climb the organisational ladder which cannot be possible if the older work force do not exit their positions, hence creating room for the younger one to get promoted. On the other hand, health issues such as depression is one of the motive people think geriatrics should be part of the working population. A recent research shows that the older working class are less likely to have health challenges. The to and fro movement to duty post encourages physical exercise which is most advisable in old age. Furthermore, the importance of their long years of experience cannot be over emphasized as most firms need their inputs to meet outline goal. In conclusion, while there are some basis to believe that older population should be a part of the workforce, I think retirement should be most considered.
People
have
different
views
with regards to
the retirement of
old
employees. In my opinion,
older
adults should quit working to
improve
employment and promotion for the youths.

On the one hand,
older
population should
be made
to retire for several reasons.
Firstly
, to
further
increase employment among young graduates in our society as most position s
are occupied
by
older
workers,
hence
decreasing job space.
For example
,
a research
conducted in four multinational
companies
shows
that
people
above 65 constitutes more than half of their manpower leaving the younger generation jobless.
In addition
, I believe there would be more room for promotion. It is apparent that the dream of a young employee is to climb the
organisational
ladder which cannot be possible if the
older
work force do not exit their positions,
hence
creating room for the younger one to
get
promoted.

On the other hand
, health issues such as depression is one of the motive
people
think
geriatrics should be part of the working population. A recent research
shows
that the
older
working
class
are less likely to have health challenges. The to and fro movement to duty post encourages physical exercise which is most advisable in
old
age.
Furthermore
, the importance of their long years of experience cannot be over emphasized as most firms need their inputs to
meet
outline goal.

In conclusion
, while there are
some
basis to believe that
older
population should be a part of the workforce, I
think
retirement should be most considered.
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IELTS essay Some people say 65 and above should stop working while others say otherwise discuss both views and your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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