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Some people said that giving aid to poorer countries has more negative effects than positive effects to what extend do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people said that giving aid to poorer countries has more negative effects than positive effects v. 1
Nowadays, with the technological advancement, a certain section of society believes that the books have lost their value as a medium of information and entertainment. In my opinion, I completely agree that the print media is not as important as it used to be in earlier days because of the internet and the large number of TV channels. There is a plethora of reason for novels loosing its importance. Firstly, with the availability of the internet round the clock, abundance of information is within the access of the people. Books will provide the data that is old, however, internet helps the human beings to check the current news and any development related to past information within seconds. For instance, these days people have multiple applications downloaded in their mobile phones, wherein all the notifications are flashed instantly. Secondly, because of the cut-throat competition in the market, there are various TV channels that keep the people glued to their screens. Moreover, there are specific shows for every category like, comedy, action and so on. People lose interest in reading as picturization of a story is more impactful and entertaining. Furthermore, many directors make a movie or a series based on popular novels which attract the people's attention. In conclusion, according to me, due to the powerful approach of the internet and the electronic media, the books have lost their significance with time. People prefer watching colourful images rather than reading and imagining.
Nowadays, with the technological advancement, a certain section of society believes that the books have lost their value as a medium of information and entertainment. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the print media is not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in earlier days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the internet and the large number of TV channels.

There is a plethora of reason for novels loosing its importance.
Firstly
, with the availability of the internet round the clock, abundance of information is within the access of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Books will provide the data
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
however
, internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the human beings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
news and any development related to past information within seconds.
For instance
, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have multiple applications downloaded in their mobile phones, wherein all the notifications
are flashed
instantly
.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competition in the market, there are various TV channels that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
glued to their screens.
Moreover
, there are specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
for every category like, comedy, action and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
lose interest in reading as
Possible spelling mistake found.
picturization
of a story is more impactful and entertaining.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
directors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a movie or a series based on popular novels which attract the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attention.

In conclusion
, according to me, due to the powerful approach of the internet and the electronic media, the books have lost their significance with time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
prefer watching
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
images
rather
than reading and imagining.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people said that giving aid to poorer countries has more negative effects than positive effects v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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