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Some people said that giving aid to poorer countries has more negative effects than positive effects to what extend do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people said that giving aid to poorer countries has more negative effects than positive effects v. 2
In the last decade, the international aids for the developing countries play an important role in those economies. From my point of view, I totally disagree with that it brings drawbacks more than advantages. On the one hand, there are a variety of negative effects toward low-level nations through developed countries’ supports. Firstly, in terms of financial aid, it may make poorer countries are more and more dependent on developed countries. When Government receives the financial support, they easily use it into inefficient purposes until those funds are exhausted, they will need the further aid. Secondly, the foreign aid will be meaningless, if it goes into the corrupt hands and not reach those for whom it was meant for. For instance, the corrupt government will not spend that money for investing the meaningful projects or helping poor people, because they only think concerning their benefits. On the other hand, the advantages of the rich countries supporting the poorer are obvious. One reason is that the poorer nations will gain the positive changes in regard to not only infrastructure but also scientific and technological level. To be specific, the construction of schools and hospitals which involve local people will help them to have a better life. In addition, the low-level countries have countless opportunities to obtain the international projects in many fields, particularly in education. Take many students in Asia who had the good academic achievements as an example, thanks to the global scholarship from the rich nations, they reached the golden chances to study abroad, and then they will come back to their countries to apply this sort of knowledge to enrich those countries. In conclusion, I do not believe that the developed nations receive aids from developing countries will gain more negative issues compared to positive issues.
In the last decade, the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
for the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in those economies. From my point of view, I
totally
disagree with that it brings drawbacks more than advantages.

On the one hand, there are a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects toward low-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
through developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
supports.
Firstly
, in terms of financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are more and more dependent on developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
receives the financial support, they
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it into inefficient purposes until those funds
are exhausted
, they will need the
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
.
Secondly
, the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
will be meaningless, if it goes into the corrupt hands and not reach those for whom it
was meant
for.
For instance
, the corrupt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will not spend that money for investing the meaningful projects or helping poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
concerning their benefits.

On the other hand
, the advantages of the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
supporting the poorer are obvious. One reason is that the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will gain the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in regard to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
infrastructure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
scientific and technological level. To be specific, the construction of schools and hospitals which involve local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have a better life.
In addition
, the low-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have countless opportunities to obtain the international projects in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields,
particularly
in education. Take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students in Asia who had the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic achievements as an example, thanks to the global scholarship from the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, they reached the golden chances to study abroad, and then they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to apply this sort of knowledge to enrich those countries.

In conclusion
, I do not believe that the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aids
from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will gain more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
issues.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people said that giving aid to poorer countries has more negative effects than positive effects v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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