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Some people regard video games as harmless fun or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits

Some people regard video games as harmless fun or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits X5Mg
Some people regard video games as harmless fun or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits. The benefits of playing video games are regarded by some not only as a source of enjoyment but also as a tool of education. However I believe that the disadvantages of spending time on video games can outweigh advantages of it. On the one hand, there are various reasons why it can be considered beneficial for people to play computer games. Firstly, it could give an opportunity for people to avoid stress from their work or studies as the rate of competition is incredibly high in these cases. By playing these kind of games, they can easily be able to relax and forget about problems. Secondly, computer games in terms of educational means, can boost important skills like imagination, creativity, problem solving, thinking. All of them might play a huge role in their future such as excelling in their studies and job getting. Furthermore, users could be benefited by learning motor and driving skills. In which they have not to worry about going to training courses; cost a lot of money. However, I believe that these merits are outweight by demerits. Some games are overaddictive which might waste the vital times of people. In spite of wasting their time on these games, they can do important activities like reading books or learning smth new which might deserve. Moreover, many young children and teenagers' behaviour could be destructed by computer games as currently these games contain war-like intentions. This even lead to violence as they think it as a normal case which eventually spoil their whole life by entering into wrong ways like robbery. In terms of health problems, the rate of obesity in cities is high because people spend most of their time on these games which can be linked to sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise. Apart from obesity, majority of younger generation deteriorating their eyesight in their early age leading them to the disease of eyestrain. In conclusion, I strongly believe that inspite of some minor benefits, it causes a range of problems in terms of health and conduct of individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as harmless fun or even as a useful educational tool. Others,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are having an adverse effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who play them. In your opinion, do drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
outweigh the benefits.

The benefits of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are regarded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as a source of enjoyment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
as a tool of education.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the disadvantages of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can outweigh advantages of it.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why it can
be considered
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Firstly
, it could give an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from their work or studies as the rate of competition is
incredibly
high in these cases. By playing
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they can
easily
be able to relax and forget about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Secondly
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in terms of educational means, can boost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like imagination, creativity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
solving, thinking. All of them might play a huge role in their future such as excelling in their studies and job getting.
Furthermore
, users could
be benefited
by learning motor and driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In which they have not to worry about going to training courses; cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money.

However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that these merits are
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweight
by demerits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
overaddictive
which might waste the vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
wasting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
activities like reading books or learning
Possible spelling mistake found.
smth
new which might deserve.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
could
be destructed
by computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as
currently
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
contain war-like intentions. This even lead to violence as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it as a normal case which
eventually
spoil their whole life by entering into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
ways like robbery. In terms of health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, the rate of obesity in cities is high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which can
be linked
to sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise. Apart from obesity,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
younger generation deteriorating their eyesight in their early age leading them to the disease of eyestrain.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
inspite
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor benefits, it causes a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in terms of health and conduct of individuals.
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IELTS essay Some people regard video games as harmless fun or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
386 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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