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Some people ragard traditional clthes as out of date and no longer suitable. But others advocate that we should encourage more and more people to wear traditional clothes. Write an essay to state your opinion and reasons.

Some people ragard traditional clthes as out of date and no longer suitable. But others advocate that we should encourage more and more people to wear traditional clothes. Write an essay to state your opinion and reasons. mLX3A
It is a common belief that traditional clothes are old-fashioned and no longer suitable in these modern days. On the contrary, others believed that wearing traditionally is a way to distinguish and tribute their unique cultural costume. Personally, I think that whether or not people wear conventional clothes is not a matter of criticizing and they should feel free to try on whatever they prefer. As society improved over time, progressive mindsets soon appear to be adapted as well, personal choices are now more appreciated and respected by the community, including the matter of clothes. Therefore, everyone has the right to buy and put on anything they like as long as they feel comfortable and happy with their choices. For instance, should you wear a stylish costume to attend your friend's birthday party even though it is unimaginably itchy and stuffy, not only will you feel irritated but also find it hard to maintain your smiling face in order not to embarrass yourself in front of everyone. On top of that, having a wide range of clothes selection is also a way for people to display and express their featured characteristics. Each person has their own unique trait and personality, in most cases, the clothes we wear affect our behavior, attitudes, mood, confidence, and even the way we interact with others. Therefore, clothes diversity could help people to attach closer to their friends and approach new people in a friendlier method. According to a survey conducted in 2010, 35% of the American said they felt their appearance defined their identity. In 2015, that number jumped to 50 percent. So it makes sense that almost two-thirds of the American now said they work hard on their appearance to express their true nature. In a nutshell, it is natural for people to wear various types of clothes whether it is outdated or not to define themselves, regardless of the prejudice they might receive during the process.
It is a common belief that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned and no longer suitable in these modern days.
On the contrary
, others believed that wearing
traditionally
is a way to distinguish and tribute their unique cultural costume.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
is not a matter of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
criticizing and
they should feel free to try on whatever they prefer.

As society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
over time, progressive mindsets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
appear to
be adapted
as well
, personal choices are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more appreciated and respected by the community, including the matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
Therefore
, everyone has the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and put on anything they like as long as they feel comfortable and happy with their choices.
For instance
, should you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a stylish costume to attend your friend's birthday party
even though
it is
unimaginably
itchy and stuffy, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will you feel irritated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to maintain your smiling face in order not to embarrass yourself in front of everyone.

On top of that
, having a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
selection is
also
a way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to display and express their featured characteristics. Each person has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique trait and personality,
in most cases
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
affect our behavior, attitudes, mood, confidence, and even the way we interact with others.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
diversity could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attach closer to their friends and approach new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a friendlier method. According to a survey conducted in 2010, 35% of the American said they felt their appearance defined their identity. In 2015, that number jumped to 50 percent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense that almost two-thirds of the American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
said they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on their appearance to express their true nature.

In a nutshell, it is natural for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
whether it
is outdated
or not to define themselves, regardless of the prejudice they might receive during the process.
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IELTS essay Some people ragard traditional clthes as out of date and no longer suitable. But others advocate that we should encourage more and more people to wear traditional clothes. Write an essay to state your opinion and reasons.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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