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Some people propose that watching live entertainment is better than watching it on television.

Some people propose that watching live entertainment is better than watching it on television. yNWql
Some people propose that watching live entertainment is better than watching it on television. From my personal standpoint, I maintain that the experiences of attending a performance in person as well as in their own house are both extremely exhilarating. Live performance such as a play, a concert, or a sporting event brings numerous real feelings for people who directly attend. In the first place, by eyeing events, not only are viewers able to obtain a sense of gratification for the entire shows but also they can respond to the spirit and attitude of the close-up attendees. For instance, people who are on the stand are likely to shout and cheer performers up together; even they can feel the heat and be more immersed in the atmosphere of the stadium, stage, or theater. Another benefit worth mentioning these recreational shows can deliver multidimensional joys and happiness after the show ended. Furthermore, watching a live show would enable audiences to have opportunities to interact with their idols like chatting or taking a picture of them. In addition, it is also interesting to make friends and share these memorable moments with others. Nevertheless, advances in broadcasting have elevated the home-viewing experience in comparison with the live version. Firstly, it is considerably more affordable than paying to see and hear it firsthand, exemplifying when you witness either these shows on TV, you do not have to purchase tickets or can economize travel expenses. Second, TV viewers are people who have an ideal perspective so that it is straightforward for them to follow vivid performers' actions with commentary. Furthermore, TV shows have always been recorded for review you want without any shielded vision as well as you also avoid crowded places where negative behavior may be taken place. As a result, although they do not see in person, live performance can be accessible to the masses within comforts in their own houses. To sum up, attending live performances can leave in oneself some unforgettable experiences and practical feelings. However, with the advent of television, people are able to appreciate these shows at home. It elucidates that we have plenty of options for engaging in events regardless of anywhere in our modern digital era.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
propose that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
entertainment is better than watching it on television. From my personal standpoint, I maintain that the experiences of attending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
in person
as well
as in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
are both
extremely
exhilarating.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
such as a play, a concert, or a sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
brings numerous real feelings for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
directly
attend. In the
first
place, by eyeing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are viewers able to obtain a sense of gratification for the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can respond to the spirit and attitude of the close-up attendees.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are on the stand are likely to shout and cheer performers up together; even they can feel the heat and be more immersed in the atmosphere of the stadium, stage, or theater. Another benefit worth mentioning these recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
can deliver multidimensional joys and happiness after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
ended.
Furthermore
, watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
would enable audiences to have opportunities to interact with their idols like chatting or taking a picture of them.
In addition
, it is
also
interesting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and share these memorable moments with others.

Nevertheless
, advances in broadcasting have elevated the home-viewing experience
in comparison
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
version.
Firstly
, it is
considerably
more affordable than paying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and hear it firsthand, exemplifying when you witness either these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
on TV, you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
tickets or can economize travel expenses. Second, TV viewers are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have an ideal perspective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it is straightforward for them to follow vivid performers' actions with commentary.
Furthermore
, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have always
been recorded
for review you want without any shielded vision
as well
as you
also
avoid crowded places where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
behavior may
be taken
place.
As a result
, although they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in person,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
can be accessible to the masses within comforts in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

To sum up, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
in oneself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unforgettable experiences and practical feelings.
However
, with the advent of television,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to appreciate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
at home. It elucidates that we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of options for engaging in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
regardless of anywhere in our modern digital era.
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IELTS essay Some people propose that watching live entertainment is better than watching it on television.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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