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Some people prefer to work with same firm for lifetime while other work with different firms. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to work with same firm for lifetime while other work with different firms. VBwnw
Nowadays, the working population has developed many different mindsets. Some of individuals work lifetime for the same firm, while others work for many different firms in their life. Both the aspects are discussed in the below paragraphs. Firstly, talking about the benefits that a person receives by working in a particular company for lifetime. The prominent advantage is easy communication with the staff members. For an instance, if a men is working with the same firm for 20-30 years the he will have good communication with the fellow employees and the employer. This will increase the effectiveness and the efficiency of the firm. Secondly, the individual will also get many benefits including provident funds and promotions as the trust and loyalty will be developed between the employee and the employer. This will lead to incrementation in the person's salary as well as the reputation. Meanwhile, talking about the wide benefits which are availed by the individuals who work for many different organizations in their life. First of all, those who aspire to construct their own startup will be in advantage because they will get a decent amount of exposure while working under different employers. This will help the to run their buisness easily. Moreover, wide range of skills will be developed by working under different employers in different sectors. For an instance if a individual was working with a investing firm then he/she will learn investing skills and then he/she shifts to a marketing agency the he/she will learn the marketing skills. To conclude, i belive that an individual should make decission according to his/her needs and expectations. That is, if he/she wants to have a stable income and receive promotions on regular intervals the he/she should work in a same firm for lifetime. Whereas if he/she wants to build his/her own buisness then working under different employers will be the best option.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
population has developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
mindsets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
lifetime for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
in their life. Both the aspects
are discussed
in the below paragraphs.

Firstly
, talking about the benefits that a person receives by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for lifetime. The prominent advantage is easy communication with the staff members. For an instance, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
for 20-30 years
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "he"?
the he
will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication with the fellow employees and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
. This will increase the effectiveness and the efficiency of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits including provident funds and promotions as the trust and loyalty will
be developed
between the employee and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
. This will lead to
Possible spelling mistake found.
incrementation
in the person's salary
as well
as the reputation.

Meanwhile, talking about the wide benefits which
are availed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
organizations in their life.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, those who aspire to construct their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
startup will be in advantage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a decent amount of exposure while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the to run their
Possible spelling mistake found.
buisness
easily
.
Moreover
, wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
be developed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sectors. For an instance if
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
will learn investing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
skills and
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
shifts to a marketing agency the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
will learn the marketing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, i
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that an
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individual
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Possible spelling mistake found.
decission
according to his/her needs and expectations.
That is
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
wants to have a stable income and receive promotions on regular intervals the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
for lifetime.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
wants to build his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
buisness
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
will be the best option.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to work with same firm for lifetime while other work with different firms.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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