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“parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. Can putting pressure on children be justified? Are there any alternatives? “

“parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. Can putting pressure on children be justified? Are there any alternatives? “ RNRnW
Parents these days tend to stress their children constantly to make sure that they grow up to be successful. In my opinion, putting children under these stressful situations only brings more harm than good. Parents should always try different approach methods if the current way isn’t working. Firstly, children under constant pressure might breakdown and do not reach their full potential. I believe this will become evident when the children start making mistakes on simplest of problems in daily task due to the pressure. Failing to cope with task and external pressure from parents might put the child in depression. This way its only going to be harder for the child to absorb and learn new skills. For example, when the parents have high expectation of its child to score high marks for certain subject, this pressure build up will overwhelm the child and he or she may start to overthink of the situation and may not perform well. Therefore, all these added pressures will hinder the child progression. Furthermore, parents should understand that, there isn’t only one way in helping the children succeed in life. The early on the parents realize this, the better it is for the child. They should take a step back and rethink their actions. For example, when the child doesn’t perform well in its studies, they shouldn’t scrutinize it, instead they should look at the areas that the child is weak in and work together with him to improve it. This way, he will get the confidence that as long he learns from his mistake it alright and wont feel heat of the pressure. One thing parent should keep in their mind that not everybody handles pressure the same way. In conclusion, constant pressure on children by the parent will only provide more hinderance in children progression and development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
these days tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
constantly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they grow up to be successful. In my opinion, putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under these stressful situations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
brings more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should always try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approach methods if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
way isn’t working.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
might breakdown and do not reach their full potential. I believe this will become evident when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
making mistakes on simplest of problems in daily task due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
. Failing to cope with task and external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in depression. This way its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
going to be harder for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to absorb and learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have high expectation of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to score high marks for certain subject, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
build up will overwhelm the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
child and
he or she may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to overthink of the situation and may not perform well.
Therefore
, all these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
will hinder the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
progression.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should understand that, there isn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one way in helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
succeed in life. The early on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
realize this, the better it is for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. They should take a step back and rethink their actions.
For example
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
doesn’t perform well in its studies, they shouldn’t scrutinize it,
instead
they should look at the areas that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is weak in and work together with him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it. This way, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the confidence that as long he learns from his mistake it alright and
Please make sure you mean 'wont' (a habit), not "won't"/"won’t" (short for 'will not')?
wont
feel heat of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
. One thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in their mind that not everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
handles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
the same way.

In conclusion
, constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
provide more
Possible spelling mistake found.
hinderance
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
progression and development.
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IELTS essay “parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. Can putting pressure on children be justified? Are there any alternatives? “

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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