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In the current era, some people believe that many school mainly give more preference to the traditional subjects over than different subjects such as studies computer or physical education.

In the current era, some people believe that many school mainly give more preference to the traditional subjects over than different subjects such as studies computer or physical education. gqy3g
In the current era, some people believe that many school mainly give more preference to the traditional subjects over than different subjects such as studies computer or physical education. I personally agree with the statement that school to much concentrate on traditional subjects which affect student in the modern working. To begin with, school must be flexible in the education because student tend to want studies subjects they like, so the need a different knowledge’ source. For example, the technology development is becoming a vital part in modern social which demand a number of the skill workforce. As the result, if student proficient in using computer or machine they will easy success in their career. Therefore, teaching to much traditional subjects for everyone is not good method. In addition, traditional subjects always learn a lot of theories than skill. That is reason why many students feel boring when studies them such as history, literature or geography. But people ignore them because all the subjects concern about culture and social’s problem. The focus needs to be on all subjects not only on mathematics or science because it would not only broaden students' understanding but also it will help them to choose major areas of interest. So, the education system should enhance, instead of researching on class or book we need to hole a meeting or gameshows ta change knowledge and skills between students. Moreover, school must add soft skill subjects Because the world is integrating and need to the people who flexibly adapt the difficult circumstances. In conclusion, the traditional subjects are still being concentrated too much. Schools should improve system so that students can acquire many new things and meet the needs in the world of work.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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school
mainly
give more preference to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
over than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as studies computer or physical education. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Did you mean "too"?
to
much concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in the modern working.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be flexible in the education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
tend to want studies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they like,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
knowledge’ source.
For example
, the technology development is becoming a vital part in modern social which demand a number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
workforce. As the result, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
proficient in using computer or machine they will easy success in their career.
Therefore
, teaching
Did you mean "too"?
to
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for everyone is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
always learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
theories than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
That is
reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel boring when studies them such as history, literature or geography.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
concern about culture and social’s problem. The focus
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needs
to be on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on mathematics or science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
broaden students' understanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to choose major areas of interest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the education system should enhance,
instead
of researching on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or book we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to hole a meeting or
Possible spelling mistake found.
gameshows
ta
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Moreover
,
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school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the world is integrating and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
flexibly
adapt the difficult circumstances.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
still
being
The usual preposition for "concentrate" is "on", "in", or "at", not "too". Do you mean "concentrated on", "concentrated in", or "concentrated at"?
concentrated too
much.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
in the world of work.
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IELTS essay In the current era, some people believe that many school mainly give more preference to the traditional subjects over than different subjects such as studies computer or physical education.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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