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school should focus on academic skills or work skills

school should focus on academic skills or work skills kx2bO
Nowadays, the qualification of academic is not unfamiliar for everyone, this is an significant feature that help you help a good looking in other attention. However, a part of people inclined to learn work skills on the early age. From this essay, I am going to share my opinion about why school need to concentrate on work skills during education. To begin with, work skills lead to be more successful in the future about their benefits. If you have enough stable knowledge background, it will be a significant key to help you figure out the suitable job and promote quickly in your field. Besides, with the advance of technology, recently, a part of youngster tends to open their own online shop to make money when the age they must study at school. Because of this, the definition of making money is very common for teenagers. For me, I cannot rate this is true or false about creating a shop for children but I believe that work skills not only contribute to adopt their hobby but it also is a factor in your successful in the future. In addition, the success of academic achievements is a factor in work skills. I believe that work skills which is including communication skills, problems solving as well as leadership you can sharpen them when you study at school. Moreover, the academic achievements can be positively impacted by work skills such as social skills can help you to lead your team at several presentation as well as the problems solving brings about finding the solutions faster. Last but not least, the confident can be improved by using work skills. As I previous mention, using communication skills a lot can help you more confident. For instance, it’s required you take a lot of time to talk with other people, get to know them, try to present in front of a lot of people. Hence, it’s result in numerous chances in the future without any qualification in the past. The evident for this is Bill gate, who drop out the university, is the richest person in the world at the moment. In conclusion, although academic skills is very necessary, work skills is the most important factor can leads to be more successful in the future. So, in my opinion, I recommended that school must to concentrate on work skills to help student more success
Nowadays, the qualification of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
is not unfamiliar for everyone, this is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
significant feature that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
in other attention.
However
, a part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
inclined to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
on the early age. From this essay, I am going to share my opinion about why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
need to concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
during education.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
lead to be more successful in the future about their benefits. If you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
stable knowledge background, it will be a significant key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you figure out the suitable job and promote
quickly
in your field.
Besides
, with the advance of technology, recently, a part of youngster tends to open their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
online shop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money when the age they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Because of this
, the definition of making money is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. For me, I cannot rate this is true or false about creating a shop for children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contribute to adopt their hobby
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
is a factor in your successful in the future.

In addition
, the success of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievements is a factor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which is including communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, problems solving
as well
as leadership you can sharpen them when you study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
achievements can be
positively
impacted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you to lead your team at
Possible agreement error. The noun presentation seems to be countable; consider using: "several presentations".
several presentation
as well
as the problems solving brings about finding the solutions faster.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the confident can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. As I previous mention, using communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
a lot can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you more confident.
For instance
, it’s required you take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to talk with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know them, try to present in front of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Hence
, it’s result in numerous chances in the future without any qualification in the past. The evident for this is Bill gate, who drop out the university, is the richest person in the world at the moment.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
to be more successful in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my opinion, I recommended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
student more success
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IELTS essay school should focus on academic skills or work skills

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
396 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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