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Some people prefer to live in hot climate. However, other think to live in cold climate. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to live in hot climate. However, other think to live in cold climate. GMmd2
It is considered by some that living is warm weather is good while there are others who prefer to live in cold places. I am of the opinion that living in hot climate has more advantages. On the one hand, majority of the individuals tend to move to hot places because of the countless benefits it has. The first and foremost reason why people opt staying in such place is the more exposure to the Sun. With the adequate sunlight, individuals get more Vitamin D, which is substantially beneficial for human beings. Moreover, living in warm places helps to improve the memory when physical activities are done in the sunlight and triggers the neurons of brain. Therefore, it has number of benefits to those who move to warm places. For example, a recent survey conducted by an eminent meteorologist Richards Tom at Oxford University stated that over 45% of the individuals are Vitamin D deficient and the opt to visit warm places in order to get good health. On the other hand, some people migrate to cold areas to get more hands-on experience of skiing, snowing and hiking. What is more, people go to cold climate areas for the sake of employment opportunities which promises them giving promising careers. In my opinion, staying in warm places is much more useful rather than cold places since a plethora of health benefits visitors get by visiting there. Hence, living in hot places is a good option. To conclude, both cold and hot climates has their own merits. The places which are warm have more positive effects to humans.
It
is considered
by
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some
that
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living
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warm
weather is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
while there are others who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in hot climate has more advantages.

On the one hand,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the individuals tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the countless benefits it has. The
first
and foremost reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt staying in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is the more exposure to the Sun. With the adequate sunlight, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
The word 'vitamin' is normally not capitalized in the expression "vitamin D"
Vitamin D
, which is
substantially
beneficial for human beings.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the memory when physical activities
are done
in the sunlight and triggers the neurons of brain.
Therefore
, it has number of benefits to those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by an eminent meteorologist Richards Tom at Oxford University stated that over 45% of the individuals are
The word 'vitamin' is normally not capitalized in the expression "vitamin D"
Vitamin D
deficient and
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'opt' is correct. If 'opt' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the opt
to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
areas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more hands-on experience of skiing, snowing and hiking.
What is more
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
climate areas for the sake of employment opportunities which promises them giving promising careers.

In my opinion, staying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is much more useful
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
since a plethora of health benefits visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by visiting there.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option.

To conclude
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cold
and hot climates has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warm
have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects to humans.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in hot climate. However, other think to live in cold climate.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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