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Some people prefer to live in a house, while other feel that there are more advantage to living in an apartment. Are there more advantage than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v.2

Some people prefer to live in a house, while other feel that there are more advantage to living in an apartment. Are there more advantage than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 2
The growth in urban populations shows that people tend to live in apartment instead of house. On the otherhands, there are many who still prefer to live in house. Nowadays, Houses build so lux with big yard that those are suitable for some rich men to show off in front of other. In subsequent paragraph more explaination will be provided. House usually have yard with friendly envioronment where children can play all the time in safe place. In addition, Selecting house as a place for living is a brelent chose from special people wanting to have less noise and enjoy better privacy. Normally, those kind of person want to boost the quality of their life and they are willing to have a positive attitude towards world role. However, some people prefer to live in apartement. Clearly, the crucial reasons are safety and less cost of utilty bills. Although neighbour keep an eye on each other’s residents, they have good feeling and get together in special occasion. Besides, most of apartenemt install CCTV for more control on persons entering in the apartment all days and all nights. In conclution, I personally value privacy and silence in compare with other factors when I want to chose somewhere to accommodate. To be more clear, I belive the best place for living is house with huge and green yard.
The growth in urban populations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in apartment
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherhands
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who
still
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Houses
build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lux with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
yard that those are suitable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off in front of other. In subsequent paragraph more
Possible spelling mistake found.
explaination
will
be provided
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
House
usually
have yard with friendly
Possible spelling mistake found.
envioronment
where children can play all the time in safe place.
In addition
, Selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
as a place for living is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
brelent
chose from special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wanting to have less noise and enjoy better privacy.
Normally
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "those kinds"?
those kind
of person want to boost the quality of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they are willing to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude towards world role.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
apartement
.
Clearly
, the crucial reasons are safety and less cost of
Possible spelling mistake found.
utilty
bills. Although
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on each other’s residents, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
feeling and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together in special occasion.
Besides
, most of
Possible spelling mistake found.
apartenemt
install CCTV for more control on persons
There isn't usually a preposition after "entering". Did you mean "entering the apartment"?
entering in the apartment
all days and all nights.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclution
, I
personally
value privacy and silence in compare with other factors when I want to
Did you mean "choose"?
chose
somewhere to accommodate. To be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
,
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
the best place for living is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
with huge and green yard.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a house, while other feel that there are more advantage to living in an apartment. Are there more advantage than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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