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Some people prefer to have one long vacation. Other people prefer to have several short vacations. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Some people prefer to have one long vacation. Other people prefer to have several short vacations. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Since the beginning of the twenty first century, as e-learning has gotten momentum rapidly, some private schools encourage their students to use electronic gadgets, such as tablets and laptops, which are provided by schools, for learning purposes. An increasing use of electronic media has replaced the traditional tools of learning, such as, paper based books, tests and paper assignments. However, this new culture has its own pros and cons, which are illustrated in trailed paragraphs. Looking at the positive side, firstly, as it reduces the use of papers, it is considered as an eco-friendly approach. The less paper is used, the less trees are cut down. Secondly, using computers from a very early stage of life, can certainly improve several computer skills, such as typing speed, which can be beneficial for them to compete in this digital world. Thirdly, an electronic device can store plenty of data. So that, the pupils save their data and use them according to their requirements. In spite of this, filtering and searching information from saved data can be easier by using a variety of applications in laptops or computers. Looking at the negative side, by increasing the use of electronic media in the schools, the students can be heavily dependent on gadgets. They have to rely on the electricity to charge the devices quite frequently. Further, as devices are there to store all types of data, the students are likely to lose their memory power. Moreover, there may be a chance to crash the applications or softwares, used by the computers, which may lose their stored data. To conclude, despite several demerits, e-learning has a plenty of merits in the overall development of the pupils, as it assists them in all kinds of school works.
Since the beginning of the twenty
first
century, as e-learning has gotten momentum
rapidly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
encourage their students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
gadgets, such as tablets and laptops, which
are provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, for learning purposes. An increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
media has replaced the traditional tools of learning, such as, paper based books,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and paper assignments.
However
, this new culture has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons, which
are illustrated
in trailed paragraphs.

Looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side,
firstly
, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of papers, it
is considered
as an eco-friendly approach. The less paper is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, the
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun trees is countable.
less
trees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down.
Secondly
, using computers from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early stage of life, can
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
several computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as typing speed, which can be beneficial for them to compete in this digital world.
Thirdly
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
device can store
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, the pupils save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them according to their requirements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, filtering and searching information from saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
can be easier by using a variety of applications in laptops or computers.

Looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side, by increasing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
media in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, the students can be
heavily
dependent on gadgets. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rely on the electricity to charge the devices quite
frequently
.
Further
, as devices are there to store all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
, the students are likely to lose their memory power.
Moreover
, there may be a chance to crash the applications or
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the computers, which may lose their stored data.

To conclude
, despite several demerits, e-learning has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of merits in the
overall
development of the pupils, as it assists them in all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
works.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people prefer to have one long vacation. Other people prefer to have several short vacations. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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