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SOME PEOPLE PREFER TO HAVE A JOB THAT REQUIRES A GOOD DEAL OF TRAVELLING , WHLE OTHERS PREFER A SEDENTARY JOB.WHY?WHAT OTHER FACTORS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED WHILE SELECTING A JOB?

Each person has different preferences that help them to decide that which type of job they need to do. Some people like to have a job which include lots of travelling. At the contrary, a number of people like to do work at same place for long period of time. Although, there are other factors which should be in mind while selecting a job like working environment, salary, individual growth and other benefits. The people who willing to do a job which requires a good amount of travelling, can explore the new things and improve their contacts all over the world. It helps them to enhance their knowledge and also help them to be familiar with new culture and new lifestyle at the same time. On the other side, the person who like to do a job at the same place for long period can have its own benifits. For example, that person can be an expert in that field while spending a huge amount of time over doing a same work. It can help him/her to secure a higher position in that feild. Furthermore, while looking for a job, the work environment can also play a big role. Because working under good circumstances can help individual to improve his/her work productivity. Also person should consider the opportunities that are going to be available for individual growth while fing a job. last but not the least, a common factor, the salary should be in mind while choosing an occupation. In the conclusion, doing a sedentary job or doing a job which requires some travelling is depends on individual. Also, there are other factors like earning and work domain should be considered while getting a job.
Each
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person
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
preferences that
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help
them to decide that which type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they need to do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which include lots of travelling. At the contrary, a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at same place for long period of time. Although, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors which should be in mind while selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
like working environment, salary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
growth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
benefits.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who willing to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which requires a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of travelling, can explore the new things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their contacts all over the world. It
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helps
them to enhance their knowledge and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to be familiar with new culture and new lifestyle at the same time. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who like to do a
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job
at the same place for long period can have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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benifits
.
For example
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can be an expert in that field while spending a huge amount of time over doing a same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him/her to secure a higher position in that
Possible spelling mistake found.
feild
.

Furthermore
, while looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment can
also
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
working under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
circumstances can
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help
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individual
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his/her
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work
productivity.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
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person
should consider the opportunities that are going to be available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
growth while
Possible spelling mistake found.
fing
a
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job
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, a common factor, the salary should be in mind while choosing an occupation.

In the conclusion, doing a sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
travelling is depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
.
Also
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors like earning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
domain should
be considered
while getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE PREFER TO HAVE A JOB THAT REQUIRES A GOOD DEAL OF TRAVELLING, WHLE OTHERS PREFER A SEDENTARY JOB. WHY? WHAT OTHER FACTORS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED WHILE SELECTING A JOB?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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