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every country, there are fashions among students about which subjects are the best to the study at university.

every country, there are fashions among students about which subjects are the best to the study at university. Sometimes the popularity of a subject is determined by how much money a graduate could subsequently earn in that field. Or subjects that are perceived as relatively ‘easy’ may also become popular, in spite of later difficulties of finding appropriate employment. It is up to governments to give incentives to students to choose subjects that match the needs of their society. Obviously one way to do this would be for the government to pay the fees of those choosing such subjects. The advantage would certainly be that higher number of students would enroll and would later fill the employment gaps. However, the disadvantages of such a policy would be considerable. For example, the students attracted by the funding may not have any real interest in or aptitude for that subject. Such students may drop out before graduation or after working only a short time in a related job. Furthermore, funding one group of students but not other would penalize those with a genuine interest and ability for another field. Such discrimination would certainly affect the whole of higher education of the country, and students would develop very negative attitudes towards going to university altogether. This would be very counter-productive for any country. In conclusion, I think there are many other incentives for students that could be considered, such as making courses more interesting to take, or the job rewards greater after graduation. The education policy proposed above, however, would certainly have more long-term disadvantages than benefits for society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
every
country, there are fashions among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are the best to the study at university.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
the popularity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is determined
by how much money a graduate could
subsequently
earn in that field. Or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that
are perceived
as
relatively
‘easy’ may
also
become popular,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
later difficulties of finding appropriate employment. It is up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to give incentives to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that match the needs of their society.

Obviously
one way to do this would be for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to pay the fees of those choosing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. The advantage would
certainly
be that higher number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would enroll and would later fill the employment gaps.

However
, the disadvantages of such a policy would be considerable.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attracted by the funding may not have any real interest in or aptitude for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may drop out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
graduation or after working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a short time in a related job.
Furthermore
, funding one group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not other would penalize those with a genuine interest and ability for another field. Such discrimination would
certainly
affect the whole of higher education of the country, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitudes towards going to university altogether. This would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
counter-productive for any country.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other incentives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that could
be considered
, such as making courses more interesting to take, or the job rewards greater after graduation. The education policy proposed above,
however
, would
certainly
have more long-term disadvantages than benefits for society.

IELTS essay every country, there are fashions among students about which subjects are the best to the study at university.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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