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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people place a high value on loyalty to the employer. To others, it is perfectly acceptable to change jobs every few years to build a career. Discuss these two positions. Then indicate which position you agree with and why. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Some people place a high value on loyalty to the employer. To others, it is perfectly acceptable to change jobs every few years to build a career. Discuss these two positions. Then indicate which position you agree with and why. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. ABPwx
Nowadays, due to the reason that most jobs require professional employees the value of the job opportunities has increased. Although some argue that changing occupations is not a problem, others, including me, think companies should provide acceptable environment for employees to keep them satisfied and encourage them to keep working for the company. The first reason for this statement is that training a skill-worker costs a lot for the company and also needs enormous efforts of higher level employees to prepare the person for the job. As a result if the professional worker decides to leave his job it would have detrimental effect for the company. For example, a medical advisor in a pharmaceutical company, who has high salary, needs to be trained at the beginning of his job and this training process takes at least 3 months. During the training period the time of other employees such as marketing manager or even the CEO of the company is consumed to help the new one to fit in. In other words, the company invest on the employee and each person working in a company is its treasure. The other reason that it is better for the company to make employees loyal, is security of the work place. For instance, even an employee with good attitude may share the secret data of the work-place with others if the work-environment does not satisfy him and he decides to leave. Especially those who have higher positions have access to confidential data. As a result, while the company data has high importance, making loyal workers is the most thoughtful policy which they can follow. However, number of people think changing job have beneficial effects for the person who works in a company, but I completely disagree with this statement, especially in developing countries such as Iran, because each time the person decides to leave his current job there is the probability that he does not find a new job. In conclusion, making employees loyal is a very important policy for the companies, due to the fact that they can save more money and time as well as keeping the company’s data safe.
Nowadays, due to the reason that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
the value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities has increased. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that changing occupations is not a problem, others, including me,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should provide acceptable environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them satisfied and encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
working for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

The
first
reason for this statement is that training a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
-worker costs a lot for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
also
needs enormous efforts of higher level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to prepare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
As a result
if the professional worker decides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
it would have detrimental effect for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
For example
, a medical advisor in a pharmaceutical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, who has high salary, needs to
be trained
at the beginning of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and this training process takes at least 3 months. During the training period the time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
such as marketing manager or even the CEO of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is consumed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the new one to fit in. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
invest on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
and each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is its treasure.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reason that it is better for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
loyal, is security of the work place.
For instance
, even an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attitude may share the secret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of the work-place with others if the work-environment does not satisfy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
him and
he decides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.
Especially
those who have higher positions have access to confidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
.
As a result
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
has high importance, making loyal workers is the most thoughtful policy which they can follow.

However
, number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
have beneficial effects for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who works in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I completely disagree with this statement,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
such as Iran,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
decides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
there is the probability that he does not find a new job.

In conclusion
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
loyal is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
policy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, due to the fact that they can save more money and time
as well
as keeping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
safe.
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IELTS essay Some people place a high value on loyalty to the employer. To others, it is perfectly acceptable to change jobs every few years to build a career. Discuss these two positions. Then indicate which position you agree with and why. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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