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Happiness and why to achieve it

Happiness and why to achieve it BlYdp
It is said that not all smiling faces are happy ones. Humans are always driven by their emotions and one of the strongest emotions among all is happiness. However it is a controversial thing to be discussed. Happiness has nothing to do with happy faces and it is indeed a subject of individuality. Happiness is important not just for personal satisfaction but also for mental health and professional development. Many recent surveys have concluded that happy minds tend to be more successful in personal, professional and social life. In addition to this, happiness brings a sense of self satisfaction and confidence which are essential tools for a never ending growth. Nevertheless, the happy person is capable of building a strong social connection and relation in society which may help the person to deal with the stress and anxiety. Happiness appears to be a very lucrative idea at first look, however, it is really a challenging task to define. I strongly believe that perception of happiness is different for every individual. For an instant a person living in a slum area will be thrilled to have a house in a luxurious apartment. On the other hand, the same building will not be so exciting to live in for a rich person. consequently, we do not have a generalised idea about happiness. There are few factors which are very crucial in achieving the happiness in our life. First and the most important thing is a feeling of gratitude about everything we have in our life. Expectations always kill happiness. Secondly, people link happiness with income or other material things. However, it lies beyond the physical possessions. According to me a person free from all debts, liabilities as well as any kind of a disease are the happiest person living on earth. Even though happy news appears to be complex to define, it can be achieved effortlessly by keeping our expectations at ground level. I conclude that a person who believes in the act of giving rather than receiving is happier than anyone else.
It
is said
that not all smiling faces are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
ones. Humans are always driven by their emotions and one of the strongest emotions among all is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it is a controversial thing to
be discussed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
has nothing to do with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
faces and it is
indeed
a subject of individuality.

Happiness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for personal satisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for mental health and professional development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
recent surveys have concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
minds tend to be more successful in personal, professional and social life.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
brings a sense of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self satisfaction
and confidence which are essential tools for a never ending growth.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is capable of building a strong social connection and relation in society which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to deal with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety.

Happiness appears to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lucrative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
at
first
look,
however
, it is
really
a challenging task to define. I
strongly
believe that perception of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for every individual. For an instant a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
living in a slum area will
be thrilled
to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in a luxurious apartment.
On the other hand
, the same building will not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
exciting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in for a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, we do not have a
Possible spelling mistake. 'generalised' is British English.
generalised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about happiness.

There are few factors which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial in achieving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in our life.
First
and the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is a feeling of gratitude about everything we have in our life. Expectations always kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
link
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
with income or other material things.
However
, it lies beyond the physical possessions.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
free from all debts, liabilities
as well
as any
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
disease are the happiest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
living on earth.

Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
news appears to be complex to define, it can
be achieved
effortlessly
by keeping our expectations at ground level. I conclude that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who believes in the act of giving
rather
than receiving is happier than anyone else.
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IELTS essay Happiness and why to achieve it

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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