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people expectancy has increased in many societies

people expectancy has increased in many societies 3AMgX
People life expectancy has increased in many societies, possibly because of improvement in technology and the increase in personal wealth. Although senior citizens can contribute extraordinary to society. I would argue that this demographic change can bring about some problems. One problem associated with an ageing population is the health care costs will increase, imposing a burden on taxpayers, it is widely known that most medical’s needs, and cost occur in the last years of life. The slow pace of work is another problem, as the number of senior workers increases. The ability to absorb information and complete work normally declines with age many elderly people have a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to use high-tech devices and latest software at work. If they choose to delay retirement, their presence in the workforce can influence companies’ productivity and endanger the whole economy. On the other hand, the experience and wisdom of senior citizens can be asset to the whole society. People today can live healthier and longer lives. For example, some senior managers can teach young people how to manage a company, and how to provide better services for clients our society can draw upon the expertise of these older people. In conclusion, the considerable extension of life expectancy has put strain on health care and made the work force less productive. It will influenced the economic development of a country, although we can make good use of senior workers wisdom.
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People
life expectancy has increased in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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societies
,
possibly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of improvement in technology and the increase in personal wealth.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens can contribute extraordinary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I would argue that this demographic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.

One problem associated with an
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population is the health care costs will increase, imposing a burden on taxpayers, it is
widely
known that most medical’s needs, and cost occur in the last years of life. The slow pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is another problem, as the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
workers increases. The ability to absorb information and complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
normally
declines with age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
high-tech devices and latest software at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. If they choose to delay retirement, their presence in the workforce can influence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
’ productivity and endanger the whole economy.

On the other hand
, the experience and wisdom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
citizens can be asset to the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthier and longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
managers can teach young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how to manage a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, and how to provide better services for clients our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can draw upon the expertise of these older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, the considerable extension of life expectancy has put strain on health care and made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
force less productive. It will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "influence"
influenced
the economic development of a country, although we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "workers'" or "worker's"?
workers
wisdom.
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IELTS essay people expectancy has increased in many societies

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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