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some people often spend more and more time working state advantages and disadvantages

some people often spend more and more time working state advantages and disadvantages x2Yjg
In this fast paced world, people often seems to be hardly able to spend time among their family in order to fulfill their family needsand requirements. This results into increase in the distance between their bond with their beloved. However, there are certain benifits of the fact such as, the excietment of family get together. On one side of the coin, increasing the work load in order to earn more money is certainly human natue, but gradually it spikes the loneliness of a person leading it to mental problems. For an example, it is commonly seen trait in soldires who served for the nation staying away from the famliy suffering from anaxity. Also, student who lives away from theire parents to perform various part time jobs to pay their bills often devlops social illness. On the other side of coin, there are rarely some workplaces who offers total attendance which results into the spike of excietment among the peron to get along their family. For instance, before the vacations people working or study abroad happens to be more happy and energatic preaparing their way back to home. To conclude, working extra hours resulting into bad health as well as weak mental state but it it also gives people more will power to procede doing work in order to get the happiness in the end when they reaches back to their family.
In this
fast
paced world,
people
often
seems to be hardly able to spend time among their
family
in order to fulfill their
family
needsand
requirements. This results into increase in the distance between their bond with their beloved.
However
, there are certain
benifits
of the fact such as, the
excietment
of
family
get
together.

On one side of the coin, increasing the work load in order to earn more money is
certainly
human
natue
,
but
gradually
it spikes the loneliness of a person leading it to mental problems. For an example, it is
commonly
seen
trait in
soldires
who served for the nation staying away from the
famliy
suffering from
anaxity
.
Also
, student who
lives
away from
theire
parents to perform various
part time
jobs to pay their bills
often
devlops
social illness.

On the other side of coin, there are rarely
some
workplaces who
offers
total attendance which results into the spike of
excietment
among the
peron
to
get
along their
family
.
For instance
,
before
the vacations
people
working or study abroad happens to be more happy and
energatic
preaparing
their way back to home.

To conclude
, working extra hours resulting into
bad
health
as well
as weak mental state
but
it it
also
gives
people
more will power to
procede
doing work in order to
get
the happiness in the
end
when they
reaches
back to their
family
.
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IELTS essay some people often spend more and more time working state advantages and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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