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Some people nowdays are more dependent while others think that people have become more independent

Some people nowdays are more dependent while others think that people have become more independent 3xXgJ
Some people claim that with high-tech innovations that are coming we more rely on each other while others argue that people become independent. I completely agree with the first idea and i will elucidate my view point with following arguments. Firstly, one nuance that should be taken into consideration when it comes to this debate question is the fact that host of us are too well aware that because of technology advancement pepole have less communication, so they wont ask for help when they are in need. To put it differently, people's interactions become less than past. Secondly rise in one person house holds has brought some personal problems like feeling of isolation, worry and lonliness so they should bear the weight of house hold`s bill and responsibilities and they are more self-reliant. On the other hand, people become more dependent on their daily basis. ads and social media are the best ways to inform other people about life before poverty line so they made them sympathetic. In this case people will participating in fundraising compaigns to aid them by donating money and food. people in this modern-day are more philanthropist and never miss the boat to assist the destitute. Consequently. In some cases they become dependent while in others they become independant.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that with high-tech innovations that are coming we more rely on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
while others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
independent. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will elucidate my view point with following arguments.
Firstly
, one nuance that should
be taken
into consideration when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to this debate question is the fact that host of us are too well aware that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technology advancement
Possible spelling mistake found.
pepole
have less communication,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
Please make sure you mean 'wont' (a habit), not "won't"/"won’t" (short for 'will not')?
wont
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
when they are in need. To put it
differently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interactions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
less than past.
Secondly
rise in one person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
holds has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal problems like feeling of isolation, worry and lonliness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should bear the weight of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
The character between 'hold' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "hold’s" (curly apostrophe) or "hold's" (straight apostrophe).
hold`s
bill and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
responsibilities and
they are more self-reliant. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more dependent on their daily basis.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ads
and social media are the best ways to inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
poverty line
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they made them sympathetic.
In this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will participating in fundraising
Possible spelling mistake found.
compaigns
to aid them by donating money and food.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
in this modern-day are more philanthropist and never miss the boat to assist the destitute.
Consequently
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
dependent while in others they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
Possible spelling mistake found.
independant
.
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IELTS essay Some people nowdays are more dependent while others think that people have become more independent

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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