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Some people may believe that it is more important to use the land for human needs like farms, houses, and factories than for saving animals

Some people may believe that it is more important to use the land for human needs like farms, houses, and factories than for saving animals JLDMB
Life has been changing dramatically in many areas for a while. Some of these changes, to be more specific inland expantion, brought some damage to faunal life in a way that some animals are endangered. Some people may believe that it is more important to use the land for human needs like farms, houses, and factories than for saving animals, while others may disagree. It depends on the lens through which one is looking. From my lens, I agree with the statement, and I feel this way because of two reasons, which I will explore in the subsequent paragraphs. To start with, the huge increase in human population. With this continuous increase in human numbers, for sure there will be need to more land, farms, or factories to satisfay the need of this increase. Any need that does not meet, could lead to more serious problems. For instant, in Jordan, there are vast number of people, who are living in a very small country. They try to solve this problem by increase the building lengh, makes the size of the houses smaller so they can utilize the land more. They even try to build the factories far a way, which by the way increase the prices of the product due to the high cost of transportation. On the other hand, there is a big land left empty because it is a natural place for endangered animals. In this case, the humans who live on unhealthy condition are the one who need saving. From this we can see that land is not always available for human to reserve it for animals even if they are in danger. Secodly, human could do both. Lets say that people have used the whole land for there expantion, why not build a big bulding with several floors that imitate the natural habitat for these endangered animals or move these animals to empty spot far a way from needed land and fix it to meet the animal needs. For example, when I came here to USA, I was amaized by the Zoo, when I visited it before a year. It is a big place that contain what animal could need. In the same patern, human can create a building, or far a way land, and equibs it with the servival tools that could help the endangered animals. It might be win-win situation, which the human could utilize the land he needed, and the animals stay safe. This shows that it is not necessary that if human use the land for his needs, this would harm endangered animal. There are always other solutions. To sum up, use the land for human needs could have it cons, but using these lands by human may safe him, and also it could be done without harming the endangered animals.
Life has been changing
dramatically
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas for a while.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, to be more specific inland
Possible spelling mistake found.
expantion
, brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
damage to
Possible spelling mistake found.
faunal
life in a way that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may believe that it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
like farms,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, and factories than for saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, while others may disagree. It depends on the lens through which one is looking. From my lens, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement, and I feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons, which I will explore in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
population. With this continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
numbers, for sure there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
, farms, or factories to
Possible spelling mistake found.
satisfay
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
. Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
that does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, could lead to more serious problems. For instant, in Jordan, there are vast number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
country. They try to solve this problem by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the building
Possible spelling mistake found.
lengh
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the size of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
smaller
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
more. They even try to build the factories far a way, which by the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the prices of the product due to the high cost of transportation.
On the other hand
, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
empty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a natural place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
In this case
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on unhealthy condition are the one who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
saving. From this we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
is not always available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
to reserve it for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
even if they are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Secodly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
could do both.
Did you mean "Let's" (let's = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of 'let')?
Lets
say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for there
Possible spelling mistake found.
expantion
, why not build a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulding
with several floors that imitate the natural habitat for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to empty spot far a way from needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
For example
, when I came here
A determiner is probably missing here: "to the USA".
to USA
, I was
Possible spelling mistake found.
amaized
by the Zoo, when I visited it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a year. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
place that contain what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. In the same
Possible spelling mistake found.
patern
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
can create a building, or far a way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
equibs
it with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
servival
tools that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. It might be win-win situation, which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
could utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
he needed, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
stay safe. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that it is not necessary that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, this would harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
. There are always other solutions.

To sum up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
could have it cons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
may
The word "safe" is an adjective. Did you mean the verb "save"?
safe
him, and
also
it could
be done
without harming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.

IELTS essay Some people may believe that it is more important to use the land for human needs like farms, houses, and factories than for saving animals

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
469 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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