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choosing a proper school as your future school

choosing a proper school as your future school W5wyN
Choosing the school syllabus has been a debatable issue in the recent years, there are many arguments supporting both views of choosing where the history is the most important subject, or science and technology are the important ones. Frankly saying, I believe both of these groups of courses are important for our pupils’ future. On the one hand, the courses which their backgrounds’ include history, usual leaders to lead better lifestyle and include more are rules and ethics in their life. These courses with a lost weight how did people win and lose in their life and it would teachers which way could be better for us to follow and reach our goals. For example, according to research conducted by times magazine, the more politicians know the history the more they will be accepted by people. Although, in these courses you will understand how our ancestors leave and how we reached to this point in the history. Therefore, we can continue our way and reach redemption. On the other hand, science and technology are very important courses which could teach your children the new and important skills. Hence, our children will be acquainted with variety of technological devices ranging from mobile phones to programmable robots. Therefore, there is skills on how to use computer will be foster. this type of your skills are very crucial in their future career and they resume will be attractive to the employer. Also, the science could help or pupils and how or where is based on physical rules and we can make lots of equipment by using these physical rules. In conclusion, the history and science courses are very important in different ways, and I would like to argue that or pupils should not only learn history in there in sc
Choosing the school syllabus has been a debatable issue in the recent years, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments supporting both views of choosing where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
subject, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
ones.
Frankly
saying, I believe both of these groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for our pupils’ future.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which their backgrounds’ include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, usual leaders to lead better lifestyle and include more are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and ethics in their life. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
with a lost weight how did
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
win and lose in their life and it
The word 'teachers' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
would teachers
which way could be better for us to follow and reach our goals.
For example
, according to research conducted by times magazine, the more politicians know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
the more they will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Although, in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
you will understand how our ancestors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
and how we reached to this point in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Therefore
, we can continue our way and reach redemption.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which could teach your children the new and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Hence
, our children will
be acquainted
with variety of technological devices ranging from mobile phones to programmable robots.
Therefore
, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer will be foster.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
type of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial in their future
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
career and
they resume will be attractive to the employer.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
or pupils and how or where
is based
on physical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rules and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lots of equipment by using these physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways, and I would like to argue that or pupils should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in
Did you mean "their"?
there
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sc

IELTS essay choosing a proper school as your future school

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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