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SHOULD GOVERNMENTS CENSOR THE INTERNET FOR THE WELFARE OF STUDENTS AND CITIZENS?

SHOULD GOVERNMENTS CENSOR THE INTERNET FOR THE WELFARE OF STUDENTS AND CITIZENS? 11j5N
It is an undeniable to urge that internet is proved to be a boon in today’s technological world until and unless it is used in an appropriate way. However, teenagers and residents are using it abundantly still many times they step out from their path and visit some futile sites. Hence, it should restricted by the authorities. Points supported with it are elucidated in the below paragraphs. To initiate with, students are considered to be the future for any successful country. Moreover, it is inevitable for them to involve themselves in sites or games which relate to education rather than visiting entry filter sites. To showcase an example, game-like bluewhale is proved to be detrimental to them. In addition to this, parents should also keep an eye on their activities if not done so then it will be a hard nut to crack for them in the future. To commence with regards to citizens, there are innumerable links that promote duplication of any content. Additionally, some businessmen are found to be victims of hacking their data which is inimical for the throttle of their business. For instance, sites like the darknet operated by hackers. I like to deem that, utilitarian of web surfing is paramount in this rivalry life; nonetheless, it should not affect anyone’s life. Ergo, ruling parties have kept many sites in a red box. To illustrate, apps that contain pornography and TikTok. To conclude, Government should come with a redeye and censor it so that parents and companies related to this obey it by the book and the country can be saved from this obnoxious situation.
It is an undeniable to urge that internet
is proved
to be a boon in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s technological world until and unless it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with the adverb for "appropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appropriate way
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and residents are using it
abundantly
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times they step out from their path and visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
futile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
Hence
, it should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "restrict"
restricted
by the authorities. Points supported with it
are elucidated
in the below paragraphs.

To initiate with, students
are considered
to be the future for any successful country.
Moreover
, it is inevitable for them to involve themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
or games which relate to education
rather
than visiting entry filter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. To showcase an example, game-like
Possible spelling mistake found.
bluewhale
is proved
to be detrimental to them.
In addition
to this, parents should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on their activities if not done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
then it will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
nut to crack for them in the future.

To commence
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
citizens, there are innumerable links that promote duplication of any content.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
businessmen
are found
to be victims of hacking their data which is inimical for the throttle of their business.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
like the
Possible spelling mistake found.
darknet
operated by hackers.

I like to deem that, utilitarian of web surfing is paramount in this rivalry life; nonetheless, it should not affect anyone’s life. Ergo, ruling parties have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
in a red box. To illustrate, apps that contain pornography and TikTok.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with a
Possible spelling mistake found.
redeye
and censor it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
related to this obey it by the book and the country can
be saved
from this obnoxious situation.

IELTS essay SHOULD GOVERNMENTS CENSOR THE INTERNET FOR THE WELFARE OF STUDENTS AND CITIZENS?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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