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Some people like to travel outside their country Others would rather travel to tourist spots in their own country first before travelling abroad Which do you prefer to do and why Include specific details and examples to support your choice

Some people like to travel outside their country Others would rather travel to tourist spots in their own country first before travelling abroad Which do you prefer to do and why Include specific details and examples to support your choice QkAP
It is irrefutably true that travelling has become every body cup of tea due to invention of technology, so that, it is debatable issue whether travel within country is more important prior travel to outside country or not. My views are in the synchronization with the latter view and reasons will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. Travelling inside country has bring numerous benefits. First and foremost, if public travel within country, they will not face language barrier and travel their comfort zone as compared to foreign country. To cite an example, if any person visit Germany where citizen speak only German language, therefore person cannot discuss their problem owing to language barrier. In order to gain travel experience, people visit in tourist attraction places within nation, where they have not encounter different language. Moreover, internal travelling expenses do not increase huge burden on pocket because it not only need flights which cost exorbitantly high but also offer less expensive accommodation. For instance, a person travel to Canada, he will have to bear cost of flight and reserve accommodation which need amount in dollars and some developed country money value has exorbitantly high as compared to developing nations such as 1 Canadian is equal to 50 rupees in India, as a result a person need huge chunk of money in order to complete travelling. In addition, travelling within country helps people to understand various customs, traditions, different language which offered by diverse country like India, For instance, India is a mosaic of hundreds of cultures ranging from Tamil and Malayalam in the south to Punjabi and Kashmir in the North. Similarly, there are more than a hundred languages spoken within India with about one thousand dialects. Before venturing to foreign lands and understanding their culture, it is vital for Indians to understand these cultures. On the other hand, knowledge can be escalated by visiting different nation as well as get a chance to learn new language and culture, would not be experience within nation. To encapsulate, given aforementioned information, it is abundantly clear that although, travelling outside nation offers some benefits, travelling within country brings a lot of new experiences. I retreat my opinion, within travel should be more encouraged rather than foreign travel.
It is
irrefutably
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has become every body cup of tea due to invention of technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, it is debatable issue whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
prior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or not. My views are in the synchronization with the latter view and reasons will
be discussed
in the upcoming paragraphs.

Travelling inside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
Use past participle here: "brought".
bring
numerous benefits.
First
and foremost, if public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they will not face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
their comfort zone as compared to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To cite an example, if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
visit Germany where citizen
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "speaks".
speak
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
cannot discuss their problem owing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier. In order to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
experience,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit in tourist attraction places within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, where they have not encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Moreover
, internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
expenses do not increase huge burden on pocket
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need flights which cost
exorbitantly
high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
offer less expensive accommodation.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to Canada, he will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear cost of flight and reserve accommodation which need amount in dollars and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
money value has
exorbitantly
high as compared to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
such as 1 Canadian is equal to 50 rupees in India,
as a result
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
need huge chunk of money in order to complete travelling.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to understand various customs, traditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
which offered by diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like India,
For instance
, India is a mosaic of hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
ranging from Tamil and Malayalam in the south to Punjabi and Kashmir in the North.
Similarly
, there are more than a hundred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
spoken within India with about one thousand dialects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
venturing to foreign lands and understanding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it is vital for Indians to understand these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
On the other hand
, knowledge can
be escalated
by visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to learn new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, would not be experience within nation.

To encapsulate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
aforementioned information, it is
abundantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new experiences. I retreat my opinion, within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
should be more encouraged
rather
than foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
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IELTS essay Some people like to travel outside their country Others would rather travel to tourist spots in their own country first before travelling abroad Which do you prefer to do and why Include specific details and examples to support your choice

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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