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Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions KORM
The rate of juvenile delinquency has been progressively increasing over the past few years, so the responsible bodies are searching for ways to curb it. Some individuals claim that the parents of law-breaking youngsters should face some sort of punishment. This essay will argue why I completely agree with this statement despite the admitted innocence of parents. (55) To begin with, arguing for punishing innocent parents over the actions of their offspring seems a bit preposterous. Indeed, parents almost never participate in violating the law with with their children nor they kindle law-abusing demeanour in any way. Moreover, the blame would be misplaced if parents were punished while the immature committed a crime thanks to bad-tempered friends. For example, many school boys are turning into vandalism or engaging in fights with their peers because of their friends' ill advice. All these mean that punishing parents for something they did not do is ridiculous. (92) Nevertheless, actually punishing parents and displaying it to their kids may lead to reduction in youth crime. Naturally, children, no matter how misbehaved they are, they do not want to see their parents get fined or punished because of their wrong steps. Unusually, this system is prevailing throughout many countries. Namely, in British schools, after the first warning made to parents to work on correcting their kids's behavior, the school authorities legitimately fine them or even can go up to sentencing them for a while. This may be the clear reason for why youngsters' offence has become envyingly rare in such nations. (103) In conclusion, it is undeniable that parents are seen as responsible for the nature of their offspring. Although at first sight, punishing parents instead of youth may seem non-sense, oppositeley it may turn out to be the exact pathway towards reducing youth crime steeply. (42)
The rate of juvenile delinquency has been
progressively
increasing over the past few years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the responsible bodies are searching for ways to curb it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of law-breaking youngsters should face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of punishment. This essay will argue why I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement despite the admitted innocence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. (55)

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, arguing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishing
innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
over the actions of their offspring seems a bit preposterous.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
almost never participate in violating the law
Possible typo: you repeated a word
with with
their
Use a comma before 'nor' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children nor
they kindle law-abusing
Possible spelling mistake found.
demeanour
in any way.
Moreover
, the blame would
be misplaced
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were punished
while the immature committed a crime thanks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
-tempered friends.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
school boys are turning into vandalism or engaging in fights with their peers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their friends' ill advice. All these mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for something they did not do is ridiculous. (92)

Nevertheless
, actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and displaying it to their kids may lead to reduction in youth crime.
Naturally
, children, no matter how misbehaved they are, they do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fined or punished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
steps.
Unusually
, this system is prevailing throughout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
Namely
, in British schools, after the
first
warning made to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to work on correcting their
Did you mean "kid's" or "kids'"?
kids's
behavior, the school authorities
legitimately
fine them or even can go up to sentencing them for a while. This may be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
reason for why youngsters'
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
has become
envyingly
rare in such nations. (103)

In conclusion
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as responsible for the nature of their offspring. Although at
first
sight,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
instead
of youth may seem non-sense,
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppositeley
it may turn out to be the exact pathway towards reducing youth crime
steeply
. (42)
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IELTS essay Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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