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Some people like to travel outside their country. Others would rather travel to tourist spots in their own country first, before travelling abroad. Which do you prefer to do and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice. v.4

Over the past few decades the international tourism industry has gone through a boom period. Cheap air travel, in particular, has allowed ordinary working class people to travel to more international destinations than ever before. In this essay, I shall refer to number of sociological studies to show why – contrary to popular opinion – domestic travel should initially take precedence over international travel. To begin with, people’s knowledge of their own countries and culture has grown increasingly sketchy. This is largely because foreign brands, television shows and cultural objects flood local markets. For example, The Asian Cultural Society found that Japanese teenagers knew more about American television series than 19th Century Japanese woodcuts. It should therefore be clear that citizens need to know much more about their own countries, and that visits to local cultural centres should occur before visits to remote countries. Secondly, people reap high economic benefits if they are well-travelled in their country of birth. This is because local travel, in particular, opens up business opportunities. For example, the Korean Society for Entrepreneurship found that 40% of successful start-up companies were run by individuals who had travelled extensively in Korea and sniffed out small openings in developmentally neglected areas. Seen in this light, local travel can also be of vital economic significance To conclude, although few would argue outright against foreign travel, there are certainly reasons why domestic travel is initially preferable. In the future, as some of the hype surrounding foreign travel dies down, these reasons will no doubt appear more attractive and conspicuous.
Over the past few decades the international tourism industry has gone through a boom period.
Cheap
air
travel
,
in particular
, has
allowed
ordinary working
class
people
to
travel
to more international destinations than ever
before
. In this essay, I shall refer to number of sociological studies to
show
why
contrary to popular opinion
domestic
travel
should
initially
take precedence over international travel.

To
begin
with,
people
’s knowledge of their
own
countries and culture has grown
increasingly
sketchy. This is
largely
because
foreign brands, television
shows
and cultural objects flood
local
markets.
For example
, The Asian Cultural Society found that Japanese
teenagers
knew more about American television series than 19th Century Japanese woodcuts. It should
therefore
be
clear
that citizens need to know much more about their
own
countries, and that visits to
local
cultural
centres
should occur
before
visits to remote countries.

Secondly
,
people
reap high economic benefits if they are well-travelled in their country of birth. This is
because
local
travel
,
in particular
, opens up business opportunities.
For example
, the Korean Society for Entrepreneurship found that 40% of successful
start
-up
companies
were run
by individuals who had travelled
extensively
in Korea and sniffed out
small
openings in
developmentally
neglected areas.
Seen
in this light,
local
travel
can
also
be of vital economic
significance


To conclude
, although few would argue outright against foreign
travel
, there are
certainly
reasons why domestic
travel
is
initially
preferable. In the future, as
some of the
hype surrounding foreign
travel
dies
down, these reasons will no doubt appear more attractive and conspicuous.
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IELTS essay Some people like to travel outside their country. Others would rather travel to tourist spots in their own country first, before travelling abroad. Which do you prefer to do and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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