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Some people like to travel alone, others like to travel together with several friends. Which do you prefer, Why?

Some people like to travel alone, others like to travel together with several friends. Which do you prefer, Why? GOBw
No one can deny that traveling is an interesting part of everybody's life. It refreshes our minds to rejoin our work with loaded energy. If I need to choose one option from the statement I would definitely choose to travel with my several friends. although people like to travel alone and by traveling alone they will able to discover themselves in a new way. But in my case, I love to travel with my friend for two reasons which I will explore in the following paragraph. First of all, travel with my friends helps me to save my money, as I am a student so money is really important. And I need to save money for my tuition fees. For instance last year we went to visit Europe and we visited every interesting place there. If I like to travel alone I can't afford such a big tour as well as I can't manage all the things like hotels Airbnb restaurants rides etc. In fact, it actually minimizes all the stresses and we are can travel in a relaxing mood and it's really important when you are traveling. Secondly, if I fall into an emergency I don't need to be panicked if I travel with my friends. For example, when I was in Europe with my friends I lost my bag there had lots of important documents even my passport as well. so my friends helped me to get my passport within a few days. In conclusion, traveling with friends has lots of enjoyment, which I don't get if I travel alone. Moreover, it helps us to get both mentally and physically relaxation.
No one can deny that traveling is an interesting part of everybody's life. It refreshes our minds to rejoin our work with loaded energy.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
I need to choose one option from the statement I would definitely choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
with my several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
and by traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
they
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to discover themselves
Consider replacing "in a new way" with the adverb for "new"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a new way
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my case, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
for two reasons which I will explore in the following paragraph.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to save my money, as I am a student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
money is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. And I need to save money for my tuition fees.
For instance
last year we went to visit
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Europe and
we visited every interesting place there. If I like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
I can't afford such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
tour
as well
as I can't manage all the things like hotels Airbnb restaurants rides etc. In fact, it actually minimizes all the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
stresses and
we are can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in a relaxing mood and it's
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when you are traveling.
Secondly
, if I fall into an emergency I don't need to
be panicked
if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
For example
, when I was in Europe with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
I lost my bag there had lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
documents even my passport
as well
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
my passport within a few days.
In conclusion
, traveling with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
has lots of enjoyment, which I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
both mentally and
physically
relaxation.
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IELTS essay Some people like to travel alone, others like to travel together with several friends. Which do you prefer, Why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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