Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. some people believe that moreaction shouldbe taken to prevent crime but other feel thst little can be done. discuss both views.

many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. some people believe that moreaction shouldbe taken to prevent crime but other feel thst little can be done. 2L0x
Increased in crime rate create a fearful environment in society. Some people opine that there should be little action are necessary to put control on criminal activities whereas, other are in favor of strict law enforcement to cope up with crime. I will discuss both views point in up- coming paragraphs. To commence with, numerous people want some hard law to cut down the crime rate. Many criminal activities such as trade in drugs, gambling, back marketing badly influence the whole society or country. For instance, a few people deal with drugs trade in most of nations and they target young students of colleges and schools as to earn more money but youngster and their families who indulges in drugs are suffered adversely Moreover, those young children initiate more basic crime for money like theft or stealing in public places that originate a feeling of insecurity in society. As a result, people think that hard rules and laws are required to subdue on criminal actions. On The other side, some people argue that little actions are needed to control on crime because they think that high level criminal activities always take birth from small actions of individual. Government should take some steps to control on criminal activities at lower level. Consequently, higher authorities will be able to catch the main criminal. Furthermore, it is responsibility of management of educational institutions to teach some moral education to students and keep an eagle eye on surrounding and actions of youngster. If they will learn about their obligations for society and country, then they will think twice before commting crime. In conclusion, as per my concern level of restrictions is depend upon the level of crime means, if crime is unbearable for society such as rape, murder then strict law should be needed by higher authorities so, they will be lesson for other individual but if level of crime is small then some little actions are required.
Increased in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate create a fearful environment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
are necessary to put control on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
whereas, other are in favor of strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
enforcement to cope up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. I will discuss both views point in up- coming paragraphs.

To commence with, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as trade in drugs, gambling, back marketing
badly
influence the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
or country.
For instance
, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deal with drugs trade in
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the nations") or simply say "most nations".
most of nations
and they target young students of colleges and schools as to earn more money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
youngster and their families who
Did you mean "indulge"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'families' should be used.
indulges
in drugs
are suffered
adversely
Moreover
, those young children initiate more basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for money like theft or stealing in public places that originate a feeling of insecurity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
are required
to subdue on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
actions.

On The other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
actions
are needed
to control on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
always take birth from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
actions of individual.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to control on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
at lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
.
Consequently
, higher authorities will be able to catch the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
.
Furthermore
, it is responsibility of management of educational institutions to teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
moral education to students and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eagle eye on surrounding and actions of youngster. If they
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will learn
about their obligations for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and country, then they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
commting
crime.

In conclusion
, as per my concern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of restrictions is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
means, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is unbearable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
such as rape, murder then strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
should
be needed
by higher authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they will be lesson for other individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
actions
are required
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay many people are afraid to leave their home because of their fear of crime. some people believe that moreaction shouldbe taken to prevent crime but other feel thst little can be done.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts