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Some people like to take a break or to get a job during summer vacation. Others think it is better to take classes. Which do you prefer and why? v.1

Some people like to take a break or to get a job during summer vacation. Others think it is better to take classes. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1
It is undeniable that modern communications are not in writing format anymore. People prefer corresponding with more visual and verbal ways in lieu of writing ones. I completely agree with this statement and in this essay, I will present the reasons of my view. Nowadays, people are time-poor. They want to be understood in a short time period without typing long letters or e-mails. Because of the advantage of visual speaking types, such as video chats, people can explain more things in less time. In addition, it is possible to express not only ideas, but also emotions by visual communication. For instance, Skype is a highly widespread software which gives an opportunity to people corresponding visually with video chat. Because of the Skype, people can consider their chat partner’s feelings too. Another effective tool is mobile phones. In addition, mobile phones also facilitate people’s contact with each other much more than letters. They can make instant talks possible in almost everywhere in the world. Although, this can sometimes invade individual’s privacy, this is still a tiny negative effect of modern communication that can be overlooked. People can experience in the modern form of speaking in a variety of different areas. Such as in their businesses and families. For instance, while improved communication types allow people from different countries work together with video conferences, family members can also see each other and rid of homesickness. In conclusion, technological advancements are an ongoing process in every sector, including contact sector and people may adapt them. However, new corresponding technics are time effective and express ideas, emotions and situations better than written letters. I strongly believe that written letters are not necessary to use, communicate anymore since we have much better alternatives.
It is undeniable that modern communications are not in writing format anymore.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
prefer corresponding with more visual and verbal ways in lieu of writing ones. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and in this essay, I will present the reasons of my view.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are time-poor. They want to
be understood
in a short time period without typing long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
or e-mails.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the advantage of visual speaking types, such as video chats,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
more things in less time.
In addition
, it is possible to express not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
emotions by visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
For instance
, Skype is a
highly
widespread software which gives an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
corresponding
visually
with video chat.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the Skype,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can consider their chat partner’s feelings too.

Another effective tool is mobile phones.
In addition
, mobile phones
also
facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
contact with each other much more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
instant talks possible in almost everywhere in the world. Although, this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
invade individual’s privacy, this is
still
a tiny
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
that can
be overlooked
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can experience in the modern form of speaking in a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas. Such as in their businesses and families.
For instance
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
types
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries work together with video conferences, family members can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each other and rid of homesickness.

In conclusion
, technological advancements are an ongoing process in every sector, including contact sector and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may adapt them.
However
, new corresponding
Possible spelling mistake found.
technics
are time effective and express
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, emotions and situations better than written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
. I
strongly
believe that written
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
letters
are not necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, communicate anymore since we have much better alternatives.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to take a break or to get a job during summer vacation. Others think it is better to take classes. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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