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Some people like to do only what they do already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v.2

Some people like to do only what they do already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v. 2
By and large, it is established beyond doubt that takes risks play a pivotal role in our personal life. Some people are inclined toward the opinion that they should do their works without taking a risk whereas others take a radically different viewpoint and alleged that risks could determine whether they are successful or not. Due to the controversial nature of this question, there is not a general argument on this issue. I am, however, to a great extent of the conviction that makes a sound decision and thinks wisely about works could guarantee our future life without making mistakes. The following paragraphs will aptly substantiate my viewpoint. To commence with, many people believe that successful people have always done their works through a meticulous plan and not to do something wrong during their lives. This means that thinking about different situations could not lead us to idiot decisions. Generally phrased, life is full of trials and tribulations and any mature human beings could admit that success will be a blank dream without difficulties. To elucidate more on this issue, majorities of people take risks in order to become successful in their personal life and overcome obstacles as well. But no one could guarantee people' progress through risks owing to the fact that positive and negative consequences of any decision will not come to our mind in the spur of the moment. As a vivid example, according to a study conducted in our country, a plethora of people run into a huge problem when it comes to decision making through risk due to the fact that they do not think deeply and wisely about results. Another reason that should not go unnoticed is that not only people can consult with others and socialize but also cannot do something wrong. To put it in other word, crowds of people are likely to do their work precisely and take every important issue into consideration. Consult with experienced experts will help them to keep pace vigorously and in some case enhance their social activities. Going into the depth, if people take another opinion into account, they will not be forced to act immediately and take risks. As far as I am concerned, risks could not be a permanent supporter for people in order to do their works rightly. On the other hand, take a risk will teach people how to be courageous and try various situations. In fact, important opportunities do not shine clearly but it is a human being that should seize those opportunities by taking majorities of risks in order to become a self-sufficient person. In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that being successful is the utmost important life goal for every human being whether through wise decision or take risks. In fact, make a right decision and think about the various condition will guarantee people' s progress. In addition, if people count on risks, they will certainly do something wrong, which might jeopardize their future life.
By and large, it
is established
beyond doubt that takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
play a pivotal role in our personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
toward the opinion that they should do their works without taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
whereas others take a
radically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
viewpoint and alleged that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
could determine whether they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
or not. Due to the controversial nature of this question, there is not a general argument on this issue. I am,
however
, to a great extent of the conviction that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
wisely
about works could guarantee our future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without making mistakes. The following paragraphs will
aptly
substantiate my viewpoint.

To commence with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have always done their works
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a meticulous plan and not to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
during their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This means that thinking about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations could not lead us to idiot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
Generally
phrased,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is full of trials and tribulations and any mature human beings could admit that success will be a blank dream without difficulties. To elucidate more on this issue, majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
in order to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and overcome obstacles
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
no one could guarantee
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; progress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to our mind in the spur of the moment. As a vivid example, according to a study conducted in our country, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
run into a huge problem when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
deeply
and
wisely
about results.

Another reason that should not go unnoticed is that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can consult with others and socialize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
cannot do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. To put it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word, crowds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
precisely
and take every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue into consideration. Consult with experienced experts will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace
vigorously
and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "cases"?
case
enhance their social activities. Going into the depth, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take another opinion into account, they will not
be forced
to act immediately and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
. As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
could not be a permanent supporter for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to do their works
rightly
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
will teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how to be courageous and try various situations. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
opportunities do not shine
clearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a human being that should seize those opportunities by taking majorities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
in order to become a self-sufficient person.

In light of reasons elaborated, I reiterate that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
is the utmost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
goal for every human being whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
wise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
or take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the various condition will guarantee
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s progress.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
count on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
, they will
certainly
do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, which might jeopardize their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Some people like to do only what they do already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
497 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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