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Some people Get Into Debt by Buying They Don’t Need and Can’t Afford

Some people Get Into Debt by Buying They Don’t Need and Can’t Afford dDJ02
Living a luxurious life among young people is becoming a serious problem these days. Several youths are buying things that they don't need and can't afford by their credit card, and they end up owing a lot of money. In this essay, I will discuss the reason and the action taken to prevent people from having this problem. People get into debt by buying things that they don't need for themselves such as Cars and Houses, which they cannot afford. People buy expensive things like jewellery and decoration for their houses which is useless. In today's world, most young people are buying things to impress their friends, which they can't afford. Today's youth want to live a luxurious life so they buy costly things, which cannot be covered by their income, so they pay their bills with their credit card. Take an example of my friend, he recently bought a bike and an iPhone for himself which cost him around 2. 4 lakh rupees and he bought all these assets on EMI. People buy useless and expensive things for themselves. To prevent this thing banks should increase the interest rate on the loans which they provide to their customers. Banks should also reduce the level of loans that they give to their customers, banks should check their income if they will be able to pay their loan or not on time. Secondly, parents of young people should not encourage them to buy such useless things for themselves. Take into consideration of my sister whenever she tells my parents to buy her a scooter, every time my parents tells her that it is useless for her and they refuses her to buy. In conclusion, people should avoid buying expensive things, especially young people their parents should not encourage them to buy things that they don't need. Banks should check people income while they are providing loans to their customers.
Living a luxurious life among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
becoming a serious problem these days. Several youths are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things that they don't need and can't afford by their credit card, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up owing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money. In this essay, I will discuss the reason and the action taken to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from having this problem.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into debt by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things that they don't need for themselves such as Cars and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Houses
, which they cannot afford.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
expensive things like
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
and decoration for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useless
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
things to impress their friends, which they can't afford.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's youth want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a luxurious life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
costly things, which cannot
be covered
by their income,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they pay their bills with their credit card. Take an example of my friend, he recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a bike and an iPhone for himself which cost him around 2. 4 lakh
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rupees and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
all these assets on EMI.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useless
and expensive things for themselves. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
should increase the interest rate on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
which they provide to their customers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Banks
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
that they give to their customers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their income if they will be able to pay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
or not on time.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useless
things for themselves.
You have fused two expressions into one, "in consideration of" and "taking into consideration." Remove the word "of" from the end: "Take into consideration".
Take into consideration of
my sister whenever she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
her a scooter, every time my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
her that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
useless
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
her and
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "refuse"
refuses
her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
expensive things,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that they don't need.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Banks
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
income while they are providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
to their customers.
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IELTS essay Some people Get Into Debt by Buying They Don’t Need and Can’t Afford

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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