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Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned

Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned E9LML
Some people believe that education should be free of charge for students of all ages, which indirectly becomes a responsibility of the government in their country. Others bear very strong opinions towards private schools, going so far as banning them completely. From my standpoint, education should be provided through a myriad of ways to students no matter the establishment and the monetary obligations that come with it. Unfortunately, in many countries all over the world, the governments are either not capable of financially supporting the education of their pupils or are negligent towards it. In such cases, private investors come to the rescue, outsourcing teachers and educators in order to give local students a shot at gaining some sort of qualification and knowledge. That said, that is not always the result of charity work, and students are required to pay tuition fees. It is a heavy burden, especially for parents in unstable financial situations, as well as young adults travelling abroad to receive their higher education. In such cases, private establishments present themselves as the lesser of two evils. As opposed to the opinion stated in the previous paragraph, banning privately owned schools is a goal some people aim to achieve. If it were to happen, there would be no more inequality in qualification and knowledge that one has gained from their time in university or secondary school. It would be no more a discussion of how much one has to pay in order for their child to receive its much-needed education, but rather of how good it is. Every investment that has been made for building and establishing the private education centres is going to go directly towards the government’s budget for improving the curriculum in state schools and their equipment. It is safe to say that private schools are not going anywhere, no matter the uproar that some people are causing. Our world is built around inequality, and some will always be able to have more than others. That is why as people demanding better education, we ought to do our best to provide ourselves and our children with it, instead of fighting a losing battle with large companies and influential people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be free of charge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of all ages, which
indirectly
becomes a responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in their country. Others bear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong opinions towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, going
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far as banning them completely. From my standpoint,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be provided
through a myriad of ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
no matter the establishment and the monetary obligations that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with it.

Unfortunately, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries all over the world, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are either not capable of
financially
supporting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of their pupils or are negligent towards it. In such cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
investors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the rescue, outsourcing teachers and educators in order to give local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a shot at gaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of qualification and knowledge. That said,
that is
not always the result of charity work, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are required
to pay tuition fees. It is a heavy burden,
especially
for parents in unstable financial situations,
as well
as young adults travelling abroad to receive their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In such cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
establishments present themselves as the lesser of two evils.

As opposed to the opinion stated in the previous paragraph, banning
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is a goal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aim to achieve. If it were to happen, there would be no more inequality in qualification and knowledge that one has gained from their time in university or secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It would be no more a discussion of how much one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay in order for their child to receive its much-needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
of how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
it is. Every investment that has
been made
for building and establishing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
is going to go
directly
towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s budget for improving the curriculum in state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and their equipment.

It is safe to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are not going anywhere, no matter the uproar that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are causing. Our world
is built
around inequality, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
will always be able to have more than others.
That is
why as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
demanding better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, we ought to do our best to provide ourselves and our children with it,
instead
of fighting a losing battle with large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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