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Some people feel that the media has the strongest impact on people’s lives. Others feel that it is politicians who have the most control over the way people lives. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion v.2

Some people feel that the media has the strongest impact on people’s lives. Others feel that it is politicians who have the most control over the way people lives. 2
Who is controlling our lives? Is it a politician or media? Nowadays, this is a controversial topic. Some people think it is media that has the strongest influence on our lives. However, I agree with those who feel that it is politicians who have control. On the one hand, it could be argued that the media play an important role in our day to day lives. Those who support media say that people are up to date with the help of latest news, which is broadcasted on television or printed on newspaper, around the world. In other words, not only are people addicted to starting our day while watching the news on TV, but also reading the headline of a newspaper or the internet too. Furthermore, it is said that with the advent of technology, children are able to use the internet for the education in schools or colleges, which means that they can easily access any part of educational information by just one simple click and free of cost too. In spite of these arguments, I believe that politicians have controlled our lives in several ways. Firstly, they have full power for our movement of the economy in the form of controlling the inflation rate, an interest rate of the banks and the price of petrol and diesel. In other words, if the government increases the price of petrol and diesel, there not only will be an increase in the cost of transportation, but also an increase in the price of food too. Finally, in my opinion, the major reason that affects our lives is the proper use of funds which is collected in the form of taxation. If there is an improper utilization of the fund by the government for infrastructure or constructions of roads, bridges, schools and hospitals, then they will increase the rate of taxation for more fund; so the government should utilize the fund appropriated. To sum up, although people live is influenced by the media with the latest news by watching them on TV or reading in the newspaper and the internet, politicians utilized the fund properly for the public welfare. Therefore, on balance, I strongly believe that it is the politicians of the nations who control our lives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Who
is controlling our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
? Is it a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
? Nowadays, this is a controversial topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that has the strongest influence on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
feel that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have control.

On the one hand, it could
be argued
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are up to date with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
news, which
is broadcasted
on television or printed on newspaper, around the world.
In other words
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted to starting our day while watching the news on TV,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
reading the headline of a newspaper or the internet too.
Furthermore
, it
is said
that with the advent of technology, children are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet for the education in schools or colleges, which means that they can
easily
access any part of educational information by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one simple click and free of cost too.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these arguments, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
have controlled our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in several ways.
Firstly
, they have full power for our movement of the economy in the form of controlling the inflation rate, an interest rate of the banks and the price of petrol and diesel.
In other words
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
the price of petrol and diesel, there not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the cost of transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the price of food too.
Finally
, in my opinion, the major reason that affects our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
is the proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of funds which
is collected
in the form of taxation. If there is an improper utilization of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for infrastructure or constructions of roads, bridges, schools and hospitals, then they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the rate of taxation for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
appropriated.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
is influenced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
with the latest news by watching them on TV or reading in the newspaper and the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
utilized the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
properly
for the public welfare.
Therefore
, on balance, I
strongly
believe that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
of the nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
control our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people feel that the media has the strongest impact on people’s lives. Others feel that it is politicians who have the most control over the way people lives. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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