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Some people feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think that they are negative. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think that they are negative. GP5g
Advertisement has a various effect to the society and there has been an argument among people who believe that it is beneficial whilst others has argued that it has negative impact to the people and business companies. On one hand, advertising a product gives information for the consumers if it is beneficial to them or not and it is helpful in making decision if they want to purchase the product or not. For example, there were several advertisement about shampoos and its type which gives the byer the chance to choose what suit them best. Moreover, businesses gain increased in product sales by promoting their product through attractive advertisement. On the other hand, product advertisement has numerous negative effect to the society and one of those were people has the tendency to purchase products that they do not need or not necessary. In addition, businesses who advertised their product first gives opportunity to the other companies to copy and improve their ideas, also to use more attracting advertisement. Smartphone manufacturers for example, a company who released a mobile phone with advanced features and using popular people in its advertisement gained a great number of consumers and after some time, other cellphone companies released a phone with improved features and much better advertisement. Thus create a never-ending competition among companies and those company who cannot catch up with the trend loss income that leads to shutting down of their business. Also, consumers tend to buy unnecessary products just to be in the trend. In conclusion, despite the fact that advertisement has a positive and negative outcome, I strongly believe that the positive influence of advertising like promoting the product to give insight to the consumers is beneficial to the society and helps buyers to decide what product to purchase that suits them best.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
has a various effect to the society and there has been an argument among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that it is beneficial whilst others has argued that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On one hand, advertising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
information for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
if it is beneficial to them or not and it is helpful in making decision if they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or not.
For example
, there were several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
about shampoos and its type which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "bier", the comparative form of the adjective 'by'?
byer
the chance to choose what suit them best.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
gain increased in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
sales by promoting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
through attractive advertisement.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect to the society and one of those
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
the tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that they do not need or not necessary.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
advertised their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
opportunity to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to copy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. Smartphone manufacturers
for example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
released a mobile phone with advanced features and using popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
gained a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
and after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cellphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
released a phone with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
features and much better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
Thus
create a never-ending competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot catch up with the trend loss income that leads to shutting down of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to be in the trend.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcome, I
strongly
believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence of advertising like promoting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
insight to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
is beneficial to the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
buyers to decide what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
that suits them best.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think that they are negative.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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