Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view. v.2

Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. v. 2
Zoos continue to be controversial, even now that they have evolved into ‘animal parks’ or similar facilities. Most people love animals, and there are strong views on both sides, which I will discuss now. People opposed to zoos highlight the unnatural way in which animals live in such places. For example, captive animals do not need to hunt or raise offspring, and this means that they are not living as nature intended. Furthermore, the anti-zoo lobby point out that animals probably suffer mentally when kept in captivity, even if their surroundings are spacious and similar to the natural habitat. Symptoms of mental issues range from repetitive behaviour to eating disorders, and these are often seen in captive animals. Lastly, it is often said that zoos add little to animal conservation, which is better served by preserving their habitat. Conversely, those who support zoos say that in most cases, they offer a secure and peaceful setting for animals, for instance in high quality wildlife parks or reserves. They add that in many cases, the animals would suffer from loss of habitat or poaching in the wild, and in captivity they are at least safe and able to breed successfully. Finally, zoo enthusiasts feel that zoos and animal parks are part of an integrated system of protecting animals, involving habitat protection, breeding programmes and disease control. This all helps to safeguard endangered species and thus preserve the global ecosystem for the future benefit of all life forms. Overall, I feel that zoos provide a valuable service to society and the animal world, as they help to protect many species. This outweighs their possible disadvantages, as long as they are properly staffed and maintained.
Zoos continue to be controversial, even
now
that they have evolved into
‘animal
parks’ or similar facilities. Most
people
love
animals
, and there are strong views on both sides, which I will discuss
now
.

People
opposed to zoos highlight the unnatural way in which
animals
live
in such places.
For example
, captive
animals
do not need to hunt or raise offspring, and this means that they are not living as nature intended.
Furthermore
, the anti-zoo lobby point out that
animals
probably
suffer mentally when
kept
in captivity, even if their surroundings are spacious and similar to the natural habitat. Symptoms of mental issues range from repetitive
behaviour
to eating disorders, and these are
often
seen
in captive
animals
.
Lastly
, it is
often
said that zoos
add
little
to
animal
conservation, which is better served by preserving their habitat.

Conversely
, those who support zoos say that
in most cases
, they offer a secure and peaceful setting for
animals
,
for instance
in high quality wildlife parks or reserves. They
add
that in
many
cases, the
animals
would suffer from loss of habitat or poaching in the wild, and in captivity they are at least safe and able to breed
successfully
.
Finally
, zoo enthusiasts feel that zoos and
animal
parks are part of an integrated system of protecting
animals
, involving habitat protection, breeding
programmes
and disease control. This all
helps
to safeguard endangered species and
thus
preserve the global ecosystem for the future benefit of all life forms.

Overall
, I feel that zoos provide a valuable service to society and the
animal
world, as they
help
to protect
many
species. This outweighs their possible disadvantages, as long as they are
properly
staffed and maintained.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts