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Some people feel that entertainers(e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Some people feel that entertainers(e. g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Which other types of job should be highly paid? Gapm
Although several people believe that celebrities are paid a large sum of money, however, I disagree with their thought and believe that popular figures deserve high wages because they have struggled for them. I also support that other crucial occupations deserve higher salaries as I will discuss in the essay. These famous stars have been through a lot of hardship in their career to earn huge paychecks. In other words, it is not that these people are being paid from the beginning with such a large sum of money. Moreover, at the starting of their career, they were deprived of basic commodities. For instance, a recent article in The Times of India stated that almost fifty percent of the struggling actors sleep on the Mumbai streets. Therefore, they have started from the bottom and built themselves in their department to earn a spectacular income. Apart from these famous personalities, I believe people who are working in services, such as doctors, policemen and army to name but a few should be paid a large price. To be specific, they sacrifice their own lives to serve the people of their country so that the population of their nation can live a healthy and peaceful life. In the recent Covid-19 pandemic many doctors have lost their lives to save their patient's life from this dangerous virus. Besides, many army people are martyred on the border and sacrifice their life to deter terrorist from entering their nation. Hence, their wages should also be increased to the amount of sacrifice they make for the public. To conclude, I do not believe that these famous people who entertain the audience get large salaries because they absolutely deserve it. However, I opine that the selfless work done by doctors and security personnel should be granted with large checks.
Although several
people
believe
that celebrities
are paid
a
large
sum of money,
however
, I disagree with their
thought
and
believe
that popular figures deserve high wages
because
they have struggled for them. I
also
support that other crucial occupations deserve higher salaries as I will discuss in the essay.

These
famous
stars have been through
a lot of
hardship in their career to earn huge paychecks.
In other words
, it is not that these
people
are
being paid
from the beginning with such a
large
sum of money.
Moreover
, at the starting of their career, they
were deprived
of basic commodities.
For instance
, a recent article in The Times of India stated that almost fifty percent of the struggling actors sleep on the Mumbai streets.
Therefore
, they have
started
from the bottom and built themselves in their department to earn a spectacular income.

Apart from these
famous
personalities, I
believe
people
who are working in services, such as doctors, policemen and army to name
but
a few should
be paid
a
large
price. To be specific, they sacrifice their
own
lives
to serve the
people
of their country
so
that the population of their nation can
live
a healthy and peaceful life. In the recent Covid-19 pandemic
many
doctors have lost their
lives
to save their patient's life from this
dangerous
virus.
Besides
,
many
army
people
are martyred
on the border and sacrifice their
life
to deter terrorist from entering their nation.
Hence
, their wages should
also
be increased
to the amount of sacrifice they
make
for the public.

To conclude
, I do not
believe
that these
famous
people
who entertain the audience
get
large
salaries
because
they
absolutely
deserve it.
However
, I opine that the selfless work done by doctors and security personnel should
be granted
with
large
checks
.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that entertainers(e. g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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