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some people think that schools have to be more entertaining , while others think that their sole purpose is to educate.

some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. gKL1
Undoubtly, schools are for educating people, however, some people think that schools have to be more entertaining. I agree that schools have to be more entertaining along with studies, otherwise students get bored of same routine of studies. Entertaining schools have extra cirricular activites like dance, music, swimming etc. It can offer opportunites to the learner to show inner hidden skills. For example, a 10 years old boy's hillarious dance gone viral on social media. Therefore he showed his talent besides his education. All age group loves entertainment in their life, so its good idea to keep entertainment along with studies to attract students to attain school daily, also students show interest to come to school. Schools with entertainmental studies not only attracts students but also to the parents to admit their children to get competitive and educated. Such school with purpose of entertainment along with studies can gain lot of money, name and fame. Therefore, I think schools have to be more entertaining along with routine studies to make studies fun and interesting.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Undoubtly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are for educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be more entertaining. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be more entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
otherwise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
In standard English it's more accepted to use "bored with" or "bored by".
bored of
same routine of studies.

Entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have extra
Possible spelling mistake found.
cirricular
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
like dance, music, swimming etc. It can offer
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunites
to the learner to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
inner hidden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, a 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
boy's
Possible spelling mistake found.
hillarious
dance gone viral on social media.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
his talent
besides
his education.

All age group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
entertainment in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to attain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
daily,
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to school.

Schools with
Possible spelling mistake found.
entertainmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the parents to admit their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
competitive and educated. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with purpose of entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
can gain
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
money, name and fame.

Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be more entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
fun and interesting.

IELTS essay some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
174 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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